belated bavaria and my lack of updates.

I fear that this space will be rather sparse for the remainder of our time in Edinburgh. I've got so much on my plate that I'm going to have to place this on the back burner for a while. Once we're home and relatively settled I've have no doubt that I'll be back with plenty to say, but I foresee little free time to fill this little white box with my comings and goings for the next few weeks.
That being said, I can give you a little taster of our long weekend in Bavaria. We went to visit my parents who have been living there since 2007, and enjoying the fruits of this Bavarian summer these last few months. It's still quite cool there, and it has rained quite often this summer, but we were able to find one full day of sunshine and warmth. We ate far too much delicious Bavarian food, and enjoyed the company of my loving parents. We cooked-out on the grill--which is something I've been dying to do for lack of it here in Edinburgh, and I relished the smell of BBQ, baked beans, and corn-on-the-cob.
I also got the chance to go riding with my dad on that sunny day we had. Nope, not horseback, but something just as exhilarating. Motorcycle. Yep. My dad finally got his bike. He's been wanting one for years, probably since his motorcycling time at Montreat when he and my mom were dating. Well, he has one now, a nice BMW with a smooth ride and lots of torque. It was impossible not to smile as the wind rushed past us on those beautiful back-roads of German countryside, and he pushed the speedometer higher and higher. It took a while for the feeling of "If I let go right now I'd go flying off the back of this thing and probably die" to subside, but once it did I was a junkie for speed and "woo!"ed everytime we came to a stretch of straight road. It was fun to spend some father-daughter time with my dad too. We haven't been able to do that in a while.
My mom and I spend some time cooking together in the kitchen--not much, but hey, we did. And also plenty of time poring over my dissertation for grammatical errors and ways to cut down my long-winded and scenic ways of saying things. My prose-style is definitely more conducive to creative writing than academic writing, but I'm holding my own.
It was lovely to see my parents, and they were lovely to have us and take us out to eat, and BBQ with us, and just generally loving on us. A break from everything was exactly what we needed, and we came back refreshed and ready (for the most part) to take on what this month is going to throw at us.
Those of you who are inclined, if you could pray for us as we finish our time here. That everything comes together as it should, and that we are able to get out of our flat, get our deposit and tie up all our loose ends easily and completely.
Here is a smattering of photos from our Bavarian weekend.

Until next time... (which may, in fact, be once we're home in our Blue Ridge Mountains!)


Caitlin

a spot of sun in the meadows.

When I woke up this morning, the sun was streaming in through the windows. Looking above the tenement building facing ours, which was itself bathed in sunlight which lit the sandstone in a rosy golden hue, all I could see was blue sky and warm sunlight. Jeremy unfortunately has to pull a double-shift at the shop today, or we both would have been out enjoying this weather.
As I wrote in my journal this morning, cup of tea and bagel beside, I opened our windows and let the warm summer breeze waft in and rejuvenate my senses. It is times like these where part of me wishes to be out of the city, when I have to choose between closed windows and relative quiet, or open windows and cool air with a side of traffic noises and squealing brakes. I really can't turn my music up loud enough to drown it out, plus I'd most likely have to listen to something as discordant as the noises shoving their way through my windows. I tried to ignore it while I could, but in the end I was convinced that an hour or two outside in the Meadows, away enough from roads and traffic, wouldn't go awry.

It didn't.

For an hour and a half I basked in the light of the sun and felt it's warmth soak into my skin, leaving freckles in its wake. I read--for my dissertation, because August 20th is all too near to spend too much time away from it--and I just enjoyed the solemnity of being outside on my own, letting my thoughts go where they would and enjoying a good read on the battle-goddesses of Irish mythology.
It really is amazing how a good sit in the sun seems to melt away all the tension warring for dominance in your mind. Yes, we are going home in a little more than two months, yes, we need to be out of this flat in a little less than two months, and yes, my dissertation is due in about a month and a half, but no, I am not going to let all those deadlines spoil the simplicity of an hour of sitting in the summer sunlight.
So here's to summer, and here's allowing ourselves to enjoy her fruits.


Caitlin

dissertation topic officially cracked.

Well, I've been slamming my head against this topic for months now trying to crack it, and finally I have some semblance of what I'm going to be researching and writing about.
My plan is to analyze and explore the motif of animal-human transformation within traditional Gaelic narrative. I'm still looking at ways to narrow my focus and anchor my research, but the biggest hurdle has been crossed, and it feels great. I sent an e-mail to my advisor and it was official okayed by him today, so thank God for that!
This is how that makes me feel:

So we'll see how I get on from here.

We're going to North Carolina in one week! What?! Much to do before then!


Caitlin

lately.

Lately things have been busy with nothing at all. Isn't it frustrating when you feel so rushed and busy, yet you don't really end up doing anything? You just feel anxious about the things you're not doing, or should be doing, or will be doing.
This morning Jeremy and I listened to a sermon from Jeremy's grandpa, Edmund Clowney. We have a number of sermons saved on our itunes, and when we can't make it to church for various reasons (this morning being, again, that Jeremy's back prevents us from walking anywhere too far, and Jeremy had to be at work at one o'clock to boot). This morning we listened to Pop Pop reading Phillippians 4:4-6, which has always been a favorite verse of mine. Anxiety tends to be the bane of my own existence even when I try to suppress it, but these verses reminded me of some beautiful promises I tend to forget about in my own clouds of stress and anxiety. The clouds disperse and the sun comes out, warm and gentle on my face, and I am thankful.
A couple weeks ago, Jeremy and I took a trip to Northern Ireland to visit some friends, Billy and Katie, and it was great to spend time with them, catch up, laugh, and enjoy each other's company. It is always nice to get away and do something new for a while. And we have another trip coming up quite soon as well--we leave for North Carolina in about ten days! I can't believe it's already so close, we still have some planning and packing to do. We're planning on bringing just the bare necessities for the trip, and packing full our other suitcases with things we know we won't need or use from now until we move back to NC in September. So there's still plenty to do from now until then, as well as studying for my Gaelic exam which is the day after I come back from NC, and also continuing to chip away at this dissertation topic which is finally beginning to form itself into something coherent in my mind, but not yet ready for public revelation.

A shot of Jeremy and I goofing off below Mussenden Temple near Whiterocks Beach, NI.

Last night was the fire feast of Beltane, and today, according to the Celtic calendar is the first day of summer. Jeremy and I caught a fleeting glimpse of the fire up on Calton Hill from North Bridge last night, but since I have an odd aversion to crowds and it cost money, we didn't venture up to Calton Hill for the festivities themselves. But it's another gorgeous day in Edinburgh, and I have a mind to go out an enjoy it.

Until next time,

Caitlin

i heart faces. [pets]

I had to enter this week's i heart faces photo challenge. Not because I have the perfect photo, but because I have the perfect pet, whom I miss dearly. This is Cael, for those of you who do not know him. He's about two thousand miles away from me right now, staying with my brother while my husband and I are in Edinburgh while I get my Master's degree. He's also recovering from a back injury, and it has been hell having to worry about him and know that there is nothing I can do from this far away for his fear and pain.
I have literally thousands of photos of Cael, but this one struck me as I was perusing them. Waiting to go outside, his favorite place, he is giving me his usual brown-eyed plead to just open the door. I called his name as he was looking outside, and he immediately flipped his head up to where I was, his ears flopping behind him, and I loved the way the sunlight illuminated his face. Cael is the best pup anyone could ask for, so this one is for him. Love you, little guy, and miss you. See you soon.

a day in the highlands and other such happenings.

This past week has been a whirlwind of emotion, of fun, of fellowship, and of sight-seeing. As you know from my last post, my parents came to Edinburgh last weekend to visit Jeremy and me, and to celebrate my birthday as well. It was wonderful not only seeing them, but being able to see Edinburgh through the eyes of a tourist again. I know there's a stigma attached to being touristy, especially when you live in a place, but there's something special about looking at a place through the lens of the expectant and awe-filled tourist. So it was nice to get another glimpse of this amazing city--and Scotland itself--with that doe-eyed wonder of newness and awe. We did a number of things in Edinburgh itself, and also went to Stirling, which was brilliant. On Wednesday we went on a tour at the Whisky Experience at the top of the Royal Mile, and I have to admit that it was quite well done. They have the largest single collection of single malt whisky in the world, which was quite impressive in its back-lit glass shelving. My father and Jeremy enjoyed a tasting session of the four biggest whisky regions in Scotland: Lowland, Highland, Speyside, and Islay. I personally enjoyed my tasting of whisky from the Highland region, a distillery called Ben Nevis--named after the highest peak in Scotland. I can't say the same for my mum's tasting, she declared that it just tasted like rubbing alcohol. She's never enjoyed alcohol though, so to expect her to enjoy a single-malt was unfair. I'm proud of her near-perfect ability to not screw up her face at each sip of her glass though. Way to go, Mum.

A very small part of the largest whisky collection.

The lads' whisky tasting.

The lads tasting their whisky.

Then on Thursday my parents booked a trip that Jeremy and I would have never done ourselves--as 'locals' that like to think they can't do anything touristy at the risk of exposing our real state of long-term and awe-struck tourists desperately trying to be locals (mostly for want of money to do touristy things). Ahem, anyway, my parents booked a day trip to the Highlands with Haggis, yes Haggis, Tours. We piled into a bright yellow midi-bus at 8AM on Thursday morning that had bright red letters on the side that said 'Wild and Sexy Tours'. Luckily, it was easy to forget what the bus looked like when you were inside of it. Also luckily, it was actually a really great tour. Our guide was really funny and engaging, and really knowledgeable as well--full of stories and history. We drove up through the countryside to Glencoe, the site of the infamous and terrible Glencoe massacre by the Campbells of the MacDonalds. We stopped there briefly, then continued on up to Fort Augustus and the southern end of Loch Ness, and we went on a cruise of the loch and hoped for a glimpse of Nessie, but we had no such luck. But Loch Ness is gorgeous and daunting, at nearly a mile deep and the waters as black as a moonless night. I have no problems imagining a kind of 'monster' able to keep itself hidden and elusive down there. After we left Fort Augustus we came back down the other side of the Highlands, and saw the Glenbogle house for anyone who has seen the show 'Monarch of the Glen'. We went through Perthshire, and had a quick stop in Pitlochry. Back on the bus and around the city of Perth, then finally through the Kingdom of Fife and over the bridge back to Edinburgh. It was amazing to see the differences between the west and east Highlands, but to also recognize the beauty and glory of both--and all in the same day to boot. It was nice to finally get up to the Highlands, if only for a wee taster session, and Jeremy and I are looking forward to finally get up there to spend some real time in the countryside camping, walking and backpacking over hills and through glens.

Glencoe.

How'd you like that house in Glencoe? Yes, please.

Loch Ness.

The east Highlands. Any Western North Carolinians recognize something familiar?

 My dad even connected with his Scottish roots and bought a Harris Tweed flatcap. That, and drank plenty of Scottish single malt and beer. Aye, he's got a little Scotland in him all right.

The handsome Scotsman.

I'm still trying to pin down my elusive dissertation topic, which seems to have taken a dive into murky waters to imitate Nessie--but I'm confident in my ability to track it down and force it to succumb to my will, and unlike Nessie, it will be broken and tamed. Hah.

On a more serious note, Jeremy and I received word last night that our pup, Cael, was taken to the emergency vet yesterday (mostly because it was the weekend, and no other vet was open) due to his unexplained whimpering and crying, and inability to move around very well. Drew tells me that the vet can't find anything specifically wrong yet, and worst-case scenario it could be a slipped-disc. So please, please pray for Cael, and the vet looking at him, and also for  Drew and Kelsey who are having to deal with all of this. Pray for Jeremy and me and well, because as it was hard to be away from the Cael before, it's even harder knowing that he's in pain and scared, and I'm thousands of miles away from him. Cael is on bed-rest of a couple weeks, and on some pain-meds so pray for his speedy (and honestly, pray inexpensive) recovery as he'll be going back to the vet in a week's time to see if he has improved.

Pray for this little guy.

Hopeful,


Caitlin

busy busy.

Here are some snapshots of what the majority of my days look like. I'll be back to properly update once I get these essays finished and I've aced (fingers crossed!) my Gaelic tests.

Faithful companions.

Lullabies.

Fionn MacCumhail

And to make things a little more interesting, here's a shot I got last night on my way home from my fiddle recital/concert thing. More on that to come.

Moon over the Meadows

Until I'm considerably less stressed-out,

Caitlin

someone sure did let it snow.

It's snowing again today, covering up the already half-melted foot of snow already blanketing the city with its serene white shroud. Normally, I don't mind snow as long as I don't have to drive in it. But it's irking me a little bit because if not for it, I'd be finished by now with both my written Gaelic exam and my oral exam as well, and I'd be home free with just an essay to finish by Friday. As it is, the written exam has been canceled and rescheduled for sometime in January, and now my oral exam is postponed to Wednesday. Sigh. I suppose I'll just have to let go and enjoy the frigid beauty it brings to these old stone buildings and cobbled city streets.
Here's the view from our living room window.

Till I'm finished with this essay,

Caitlin

mid-november. really?

Can anyone else really believe that we're half way through November yet? And that Thanksgiving is next week? Does it seem to anyone else that the older you get, the quicker time slips by without you noticing, and the next thing you know you're a year later and you're not sure how you got there? At this time last year I was just settling into the insanity that is the Christmas season at Biltmore--yes, it starts about a week into November. Our plans were still for Jeremy to be the one in school and perhaps maybe we would go to Scotland, but for now we'll just worry about the usual: money, jobs, and what the heck we're doing with our lives. And now, a year later, I am the one in school, and we really are in Scotland, in Edinburgh, and I'm getting a degree in Highland Studies and learning to play the fiddle. Really?
It does feel a bit more tangibly real now that we're in a long-term rental and can finally settle in and make a home. But still, sometime I have to stop, look around at the beautifully old Georgian architecture of the main square of my campus, or out my door, through the buildings to the craggy mount of Arthur's Seat sitting just yonder in Holyrood Park, a stone's throw away from my front door. (Okay, so I'd have to have a really good arm for it to be an actual stone's throw, but still, it's right there.) But it's all true, we really are here, I'm really doing this degree--though don't bother asking what my dissertation is on, because I still have no idea--Jeremy has a good job, and we're living here, in Edinburgh, where we wanted to be. I know I am incredibly blessed to be here, and I am so thankful that things worked out just so for it all to happen. But sometimes--sometimes I still wonder what I really am doing here. Yes, yes I'm going to school and Jeremy and I are on an adventure and what have you. But really, why am I here, what will the future bring us on this path that we're on? Regardless of what you may think, I know I am here for a reason, and that there's a purpose for all that we're encountering and experiencing here, but I can't help letting my so-human mind wander and question and honestly, sometimes just despair at not understanding a distinct purpose for my time and studies here. I know I should just sit back and enjoy it, and take it as it comes, but if any of you know me at all, you'll know that that's not how I do things. I have a hard time not having a framed plan complete with bullet points and a checklist. There's nothing I like more than revising a plan and checking things off a list and experiencing the satisfaction that comes from the accomplishment of a well-laid plan come to fruition. And nothing I hate more than uncertainty and stress from loose ends.
But you know what? Maybe that's why I'm here. Maybe I need to tone the control-freak in my brain down, and maybe kick her out all together. Because the truth is, as long as I am doing what I love and finding my real purpose in the only thing that matters, then what can truly go wrong? Lots of little things might snag here and there, but what are those but flavours that make life that much more brilliantly complex and beautiful?
I am here. I am learning Scottish Gaelic. I am learning to play the fiddle. I am getting a Master's Degree in Highland Studies. I am living in a city that is older and more full of history than anywhere I have ever lived. I will relish all of that in the here and now, and not fret about what will come of it in the future. For if I focus too much on what is to come, I'll miss out on all the loveliness and flavour that will make what comes that much better.

I hope my words can encourage you other control-freaks and future-worriers, and maybe we can all help keep each other accountable to really letting go. Yes?

Here's to the unknown.

Caitlin


Oh, and photos of the new flat coming soon. :)

the pup.

My Cael.

I wanted to write a post about this because it seems that I am at a loss at what to do next, and perhaps with the advice or ideas of my beloved readers I might come across a way to remedy the situation.

Our Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, Cael, is sadly not with us here in Edinburgh yet. And unfortunately I'm not sure when we'll be able to get him here. It was the original plan to have him shipped over after us in October sometime, but with our housing situation being unstable--in a temporary flat because there wasn't anything available when we got here in September--and with the expense of shipping him we wanted to be sure we would be here for a while before we invest in sending him, as well as the logistical nightmare of actually getting him here with paperwork in order and avoiding quarantine. On the bright side, the huge stress of what to do with him until we could ship him was graciously solved by my older brother, Drew, and his wife, Kelsey, who offered to take him for us until we could get him to us here in Scotland. They've been great in helping us out with that, but now that it looks like Cael's going to have to be staying Stateside for longer than expected they can no longer keep him. They're quite busy with their jobs and having a dog for a month or so is quite different from having him for three or four or more months. So unfortunately their jobs just aren't conducive to having an animal relying on them being home and around for attention or time for adequate walks and other such things as dogs require. So though they have been an absolute Godsend for keeping Cael until now, it is time for him to move on to someone who's life is a bit more suitable to keep a dog.
It looks like right now, since the long-term flat we just got doesn't allow pets, and I'll need some time to either convince the landlord to let me have Cael, or finagle a way to have him there without the landlord knowing, so it looks like January would be the earliest we could realistically get him here. It sucks. And I'd like to have already had him here now and avoided all this, but things don't always work out the way you plan, and we have to deal with things as they happen. So while this is not at all how I planned this going, this is what I have to deal with, so I am.

Here's the rundown. Cael is a spaniel, like I said, a small breed but he's bigger than most Cavaliers--maybe about twenty-eight or so pounds. He's almost three years old, so he's right about at the end of the puppy stage, though he can still get a little hyper. He's fixed, and that seemed to calm him down a bit and make him a lot less dominating, but it really wasn't a huge problem before we had it done. He's a sweet heart, and just wants to be around people and interact with them. Wherever you are, that's where he wants to be. He's a companion first and foremost, but he knows how to be on his own as well. Jeremy and I both worked nearly everyday, so he was used to being by himself for five, six, or seven hours at a time, and sometimes more.. He loves being outside and going on walks. He has a backyard right now at my brother's house and it seems like even though he can be out on his own, that he needs someone out with him to make sure he does his business and not just sniff around and chase leaves across the yard. Though he's fine just being put outside on occasion in the backyard to just be there instead of inside. I think that's where walks would come in the best, to take him out and tell him to go 'potty' helps him remember why he's out there amidst all the sights and smells that make him forget what he needs to do. He's also not a very vocal dog. In our experience, the only time he barked was when we left for work, and even then he'd only bark for maybe four or five minutes then go on to chewing a bone or playing with his toys. I think he'd be best with a family, and even with a family that already has a dog, because he's quite social and likes the company, and I think a family atmosphere would be good because there's always so much going on and people coming and going to keep him company.
Anyway, I won't go on and on, but he is a good dog, and as with all dogs, he needs the proper attention and work that comes with being a dependent animal. I can give anyone more information who wants it. If you guys have any ideas of someone who would be willing to keep him for us for a time, until we can get him over here with us, let me know. And those that will, please pray that this is resolved quickly and smoothly as it quite stressful for all involved--for me, trying to coordinate this an ocean away, and for my brother I'm sure as well, who wants to give Cael everything he needs, but just can't do it all right now because of his busy schedule. Thank you all for praying and thinking of us. Things here are going well, but I can't believe that this semester is almost over--I still have so much to do! I hope all who read this are quite well.

Caitlin

God is so good.

Over and over again, God has proven himself faithful. When things seem to be at their worst, and we don't think we'll make it, and we're crying out in desperation, "Lord, please. Please take care of us." And we finally after trying time and time again to do it ourselves, put our trust and faith in Him completely. And He comes through for us. Every time. First with the visas, and now with the car. Praise the Lord, we sold the car today. We're signing it over and getting paid for it tomorrow--the day before we leave. I don't have time to give you a full update, so the next time you hear from me we'll be in SCOTLAND! I have time for only this, God is good. Jeremy is an amazing organizer--we got more into the back of that bug than I ever thought could fit into that little thing. I miss my pupper, but I know he's in wonderful hands with Kelsey and Drew. I also miss my best friend, Chelsea Rose, but am so excited for where we both are in our lives, and where we are going.
See you on the other side!

hallelujah!

Our visas have been officially approved and issued. Just waiting for the UPS man to deliver them into our hands. Storage unit also gotten and paid for. Now just to sell the car. And, since I'm watching it now, for Liverpool to beat Manchester City today. Come on you Reds!
God is so good!

two weeks to the day.

Yes, that's right. Two weeks from today (technically tonight at 6:25) Jeremy and I will have gotten everything finished and packed and be boarding a flight to London where we will then hop another flight to our new home in Edinburgh, Scotland. It still doesn't feel completely real. Like I've said numerous times, I don't think that it will until I'm on the plane or maybe even on the way from the airport in Edinburgh to Jeremy's aunt and uncle's flat. As I sit here, two weeks from my departure, I look around me realize, for the millionth time, that there's still so much to do. And when I say that, at this point, it's really just a bunch of stuff to take to Kiwanis or Goodwill, and a few things here or there to finish packing. So while it feels like a lot, I think it'll go by really quickly. The one little thing that is still eating away at my mind whilst I do everything, even sleep, is the fact that we have yet to hear about our visas. Those little things could make or break our next two weeks. If don't receive them before we're due to fly, we technically cannot enter the United Kingdom at all, which makes sense because I sent our passports along with our visa applications, as well as other important supporting documents. I know this is what we're supposed to be doing, and that the Lord will come through, but I can't help but stress out--it's what I do. It's only really been five business days since they began processing it, which was the minimal amount of time they said it might take, so it's not like they're long overdue to get us back our stuff. I know everything will come through, I have faith, but sometimes it is hard to maintain. I had tea with Chelsea's mom last week, and she reiterated to me something that Chelsea had already told me numerous times, something that has been an almost mantra in their family for years:
Don't doubt in the dark, what He has shown you in the light.
Hear that, Caitlin? You know Scotland is where you're supposed to be. Don't fret and doubt now that things have gotten difficult. Take heart, have faith. The Lord provides.
I'll keep you updated as these next two weeks progress, and inform all my lovely readers when our visas are approved. :)
 I must go, for who can resist a face like this begging you to take him outside?

 

Stalwartly waiting,
Caitlin

visas, and appendices, and supporting documents. oh my!

This is pretty much how I've felt for the past week and a half while I've been attempting to decipher and correctly navigate the Visa application process through the UK Border Agency. After numerous hours of wading through websites and checklists, countless e-mails and one phone call with an International Officer at the University, a couple different printings, a few screamed obscenities, several tears, two sets of passport photos, a two-hour trip to Charlotte for a five-minute appointment, doublecheck, triplecheck, about $600 and one bottle of white-out, I have finally (hopefully) gotten everything I need and will be sending out our rather large packet of applications and supporting documents tomorrow morning. Hurrah. Pray that all is in order and we get processed and approved with plenty of time to spare.

scotland the brave.

As heart-rending rifts of deep piping play through my mind I realize that it is now less than a month before Jeremy and I set off to something completely new and different. Less than one month until we leave all familiarity and begin anew together in a place about which we're both passionate. Less than one month before we get on a plane with one-way tickets and spirit away to something completely ours together. I'm excited. I'm anxious. I'm still a bit stressed. But I'm so blessed to be embarking upon something so grand and unique. Jeremy and I are both ecstatic to be so close to attaining the goal we've been striving so long now to realize, but we know we can't celebrate yet, there is still much to do and much to finish.
Today was my last day at Biltmore, and while that saddens my heart, it also means that we are that much closer to being in Scotland. I have that much more time to finish packing and culling all of our stuff we've acquired. I have that much more time to prepare my mind for the scholarly feats I shall be attempting in the next year. And while I may be done working at Biltmore, that place and those people will always have a special place in my heart and thoughts, and I will never forget my time there.
Our visas are nearly finished, and should be completely submitted by the end of this week, and, Lord willing, all will be in order and we'll be approved quite soon thereafter. Cael is our only loose end and we hope that his situation will be remedied soon. I'll update soon with more milestones crossed. For now I leave you with a view of our future home.

less than three months.

That's until Jeremy and I away over the sea to begin our Scottish adventure. It still seems so far away because we haven't really started packing things up. We've begun a little, and have plans, but I feel that it's too far away to just get rid of everything but close enough to stress me out that we haven't done much yet. So pray that everything just comes together when it should.
In other news, I began swimming again. Hurrah! I've gone three times in the last week or so, and so far--after thorough rinsing afterward--no bad allergy reactions! I'd forgotten how much I love being in the pool, just swimming away the my stress. I've already noticed my stamina building back up, though my entire work out now, was only my warm-up back in the day when I swam everyday. But oh well, at least I'm getting back into it, right?
I'm also a tea junkie again, it's funny how I am in the summer, and for some reason it fades off in the winter. You'd think it'd be the other way round wouldn't you? Irish Breakfast is my current delight, and I would post a photo of me enjoying my cuppa this morning, but I swam this morning and am not a beautiful sight at the moment. But you can imagine the photo, close-angled, part of my face hidden by my big blue mug with a teabag string hanging off the side, and I'm looking over my glasses at you.
Sewing has been on the agenda a lot lately as well. I've finally begun on my winter coat for this year, and after about ten hours of cutting it out (argh!) I've finally started sewing it together. It's actually turning out quite well, and I'm well pleased with it thus far. Thanks to Trish Bober for ever-patient tips and question-answering, and Chelsea Bober for moral support and general sitting-around-looking-pretty. I'm also working on a dress to wear to the WNC Highland Celtic Festival Jeremy and I are going to next weekend at Pisgah Brewery. I'm quite excited about it. I'm take photos and be sure to update afterward.
It's also apparent that I am experimenting with blog backgrounds and setups again. Blogger got a new design program and I'm having fun making things look pretty. :) So bear with me. Rar!
The World Cup begins today, and Jeremy's like a little boy in all his excitement, he's even losing sleep over being so excited about it. Cute. I joined a fantasy league for Jeremy's sake, and have to admit that I had a bit too much fun picking players, putting together a team, and filling out a bracket. I've decided that the final will be between England and Spain, and Spain will take it. Even though I'd rather see England win, so I'd be okay with being wrong about that.

'til again,

Caitlin

budgets and taxes and fafsas, oh my!

In light of the exciting news that most of you know by now--I was accepted into the University of Edinburgh Master's programme for Highland Studies--scary things now follow that offer and my decision to accept it. It's only a little over six months before school starts, and there are a lot of things that need to be done before we can go, not the least of which being things like, oh, buying plane tickets, getting a student visa, getting Cael's paperwork in order, and selling or storing all our stuff. With that said though, I have already gotten a number of things done. I finished up and filed our taxes last night, finished and submitted my FAFSA this morning, and wrote essays and things needed for the scholarships I'm applying for. The essays for the scholarships weren't difficult at all, I just pulled from and tweaked parts of my application essay for the University, since they asked basically the same questions, so that was finished relatively quickly.
Filing my taxes proved to be a bit more difficult and frustrating--as taxes tend to be. Firstly, as I sat down about a week ago, thinking I had everything in order, I realized after entering almost all of our W2s that I had either misplaced or never received my Biltmore W2. So that was frustrating, I had been hoping to finish everything that night, and had to put everything on hold until I could locate it--which I couldn't, and had to request a copy sent to me. I finally got everything in order, for real this time, and sat down last night to finish everything up. More frustration soon followed. One, Biltmore did not withhold any Federal tax from being hired in August to the end of the year, and for all I know now, still aren't. Two, Jeremy's father did not withhold any State tax from Jeremy's Moments paychecks last year. (And on top of that, is 1099ing Jeremy this year, so that means I have to keep up with putting money aside out of each paycheck so we don't get screwed next year). Three, I was 1099ed for my nannying job and my swim lessons at Cheshire, the first I knew about, but the latter I had to idea I'd be subcontracting. Those main things, among a plethora of minor details that made things difficult were the story of my tax journey this year. Now being finished, albeit still frustrated, I see the goodness of the Lord in it all. We somehow qualified for a Make Your Work Pay (or something like that) tax credit which was $800, which covered the 500 and some odd dollars we would have owed for Federal, and even had a federal refund of $267. Awesome. Then I did the State taxes, and discovered that we owed the State $457 (and thankfully Jeremy did all his stone masonry in SC and had state taxes withdrawn there). I had managed to save about $200 while I was nannying, knowing that I'd owe at the end of the year since I was just being paid straight out by personal check. So with the refund and the money I had saved, we actually will have about ten dollars that won't go right back to paying taxes. As frustrating as that is, and as much as we could use a nice fat refund, even more so we need not to owe a fat sum to the government that we cannot afford. God made sure that happened, and I'm thankful for it. We broke even, and we can continue to save without disruption for our Scottish adventure in six months.
I've also been working on a budget, which I'm terrible at, I hate numbers. I know we need guidelines with our spending though, so I'm writing everything down again, categorizing it, and keeping track of it in a notebook by the computer and on our huge dry erase calendar in our kitchen. I'm saving all pay stubs, receipts, and bills, and filing them into envelopes labeled according to each month and whether it's receipts and bills, or pay stubs. I'm keeping up with it pretty well, and I just hope I continue to do so.
One more thing that has changed some plans is that we found out the Jeremy was not accepted into the University, which at first upset us (me more than him, ironically), but the more we think about it, the more it makes sense that we don't go at the same time. Jeremy will work while I get my Master's, and when I graduate and get a job he'll apply to The Free Church of Scotland College, which is the original school he was looking at, and a better fit to what he wants to study.
So, all in all, things are looking up, and coming together, but I know it'll be difficult to get it all done and in order. I take heart in the knowledge that if we're supposed to be there, we will be and things will come together one way or another. God is faithful.
Cael's vet appointment and blood test are tomorrow, so it will be officially six months until he can travel. Hopefully all his Pet Passport things will come into order swift and painless (I'm not holding my breath), but as long as they just get done.

Busily,

Caitlin

ashley and hans.

The day after Christmas I had an opportunity to photograph another wedding. This wedding was perhaps the most challenging and most stressful wedding I've ever shot. On Christmas Day, Ridgecrest, where the wedding festivities were to be held, lost its electricity due to the heavy ice and cold snap that was weighing heavily on everything up in our part of the mountains. Since the electricity was not going to be able to be back on in time for the wedding, a lot of plans changed. In fact, seven months worth of planning was turned upside down with just one day to attempt to reevaluate. No electricity means no lights and no heat, both of which are key to a smooth wedding in late December. Well, things turned out well, not quite as expected and the Lord knows had I been the bride I would not have been as calm as Ashley was. But Ashley and Hans took what they were dealt, and focused on each other and what they were doing that day, not how comfortable it was or how many people showed up. As Ashley so poignantly put it when I praised her ability to take the events of the day in stride, "I had to--what was important is the covenant." How true that is, and how often do brides get caught up in the formalities and flowers and forget the reason that they're really there. So congratulations to Hans and Ashley Suhs, may you never forget how important that covenant is. Here are a couple photos from your day to appease your appetite until I get them all finished.

honey vanilla chamomile tea. [elastic.]

Lately I've had a perpetual feeling of tightness in my chest, and that feeling seems to echo the character of my life in days of late. I feel like a rubber band, and that I'm being stretched and pulled until the tension grows just shy of my breaking point, only to be released ever so slightly to stay intact, then just as I let out a breath of relief--the tension begins again. I am reminded of a line in The Fellowship of the Ring, one that I've actually always rather poked fun at, until now, when I know exactly what Bilbo means when he says he feels "like butter scraped over too much bread."
I am coming up on the home stretch of my college career and I scarcely feel that I can make it. I have numerous in-depth papers to write, The Whetstone to keep on task, photography jobs to shoot and edit, and on top of everything else I now have a graduation speech to write, practice, and stress over delivering in front my graduating class without stuttering. I'm not sure exactly what God is trying to do to me here, and I hope that he intervenes soon to give me just one breath before I am plunged back into the sea of my anxiety.
Have you ever stretched a rubber band, grasping it fully with both of your hands, until it snaps--stinging your hands, but you hold it tightly together to keep it from completely falling apart? I feel as if that's what God is doing with me right now. Though he stretches me to my absolute breaking point--complete with spur of the moment blubberings, and unnecessary trenchant remarks aimed at helpless victims--he is holding me intact with his strong and able grasp. Though I am broken, he is the mortar that holds my pieces intact. He has also blessed me with a master stone mason to help pick up, and carefully put back, the pieces that I force to the ground.
I am at my breaking point, but hold to the hope that I have in my Savior and the gift of my faithfully strong husband. Please pray for me. Pray that I can get it all done without falling apart, and pray that even if I do break, that I allow those who love me to help put me back together again.
God can make me into the most magnificent mosaic, but I must be willing to become His restored masterpiece.
I am no Humpty-Dumpty.

Tryingly,

Caitlin