front porch perpending.

I'm currently sitting outside on my porch, warm breeze on my arms, and my second cup of coffee sitting beside me - I can smell it mingling with all the other spring fragrances on the air, the freshness of new growth and the promise of an imminent spring rain. I can't help but revel in the beauty of it all. My little daughter plays and sits with her favorite book beside me, and the dulcet tones of the fiddle, guitar, and mandolin sing out from my music to join with the joyful birds in their springtime song. It's all so idyllic and I have to pinch myself to remember that this is a Monday morning, not a lazy Saturday. But there's really not a huge difference in those two things for me anymore - instead of an alarm clock waking me up at 6:30 or earlier this morning, I got to sleep till Josie and I decided to wake up and cuddle for another 30 minutes before even getting out of bed. It's incredible the things you get to enjoy when you decide you want them and work hard to make them happen.

I love springtime - it's so full of life and newness and brings so much hope for renewal and rebirth. It's funny how we can get into such a funk in the winter, the sun never stays long enough and even when it does the frigidity of the season drives us to stay inside and sulk sometimes. But then spring comes, finally, and we have a Julie Andrews Sound of Music moment where we twirl in our front yard, exulting in the warmth and sunshine and shoots of new green leaves (Oh, that's just me? Well, you get it). It's just so refreshing after such a long, hard winter like we had this year and I rejoice in it!

My view this morning.

Now my sweet babe slumbers in my lap - she's getting so big that her legs just hang off my lap in sleep-rendered limpness. She's growing just as fast as those shoots of newness on the tree in my front yard and I am so glad that I don't have to miss a single second.

My other (better) view.

Enjoying this moment,


Caitlin

one year.

This past Wednesday was a big day. My little baby, my beautiful and sweet girl turned one! I cannot believe how quickly that year flew by, and here I am, a mother to a one-year-old. She has such a precious heart and a sweet disposition, and she's funny too! She's silly and loves to play around and have books read to her. She's almost walking - she easily could be by now, but she's a careful one and won't do it till she's sure she won't fall-- any day now though! She babbles up a storm all the time, and says 'Da-da' and 'Da-dee' regularly - only sometimes though is she actually calling for her Daddy. She's eating food now -- I'm making it all for her-- and her favorites include strawberries and sweet potatoes. She loves going for walks in Montreat, and I can't wait to show her how to play in the creeks this summer. Her Nana and Major were in town for her big day and she loved playing with them and being held by them, and having books read to her - not sure who enjoyed it more actually.

I am blessed daily in the knowledge that she is my daughter, and that I was picked specifically to be her mum. She is learning and growing every single day and I am so glad that I am able to be home with her and not miss a single minute of it. I have loved so much being a mother to Josie, and I am so excited to see with what else (and who else) God is going to bless our family.

Her birthday was full of love and family - she shares her day with her daddy, which is so special! She opened some presents smashed some whipped cream and fruit, and generally just made everyone happy-- she's great at that. She was tired, but so sweet the whole day. I just can't get over what an amazing disposition she has. I know God has big plans for this little girl, and I'm so honored to part of her life.

valleys.

I haven't written in the past couple days because I was waiting for inspiration to strike me. But then yesterday I remembered that that's not really how I write, and it'd been so long since I had written regularly that I had forgotten my method. Typically I sit down, no real semblance of an idea in my mind, and just start writing. Thoughts, ideas, and dreams flow out of me that I didn't really realize were there, and therein lies the beauty of writing for me. Sometimes I don't really know what I truly think about something until *boom* there it is, freshly penned from my own mind. Sometimes my best ideas stem from sitting down and free-writing without real thought and then surprise myself as I reread what has just flown from my fingers. So here we go.

The last few days we've had snow - a lot of snow - and while I generally agree that winter and its frigid temperatures are so much more bearable when there is snow, I'm pretty ready for this snow to go away. It's beautiful, but everything stops and shuts down when there's snow and life gets suspended in this snow globe of fear and anticipation of 'snowmageddon'. I've been known to enjoy a snow day or two - especially when I was working in the corporate world and a snow day meant pay without work. It's a very different story when you own your own business though - the snow and fear of icy roads paralyzes people and puts a temporary halt in my month's momentum, and I've got a goal I'm pushing for so it's frustrating! But at the same time I'm thankful for some downtime and I know that if I keep working and keep doing the next right thing I'll still meet my goals. The key is not to let obstacles -especially those out of our control - stop us, but let them make us stronger and better.
I feel like that's true in any aspect of our lives though. Why let the things we cannot control stop us or discourage us? Instead, recognize what can be learned from any given situation and learn it! Let us stop looking at why a situation affects us negatively, and instead look at any obstacle or speed bump and find what good can be found in it. If things were always easy how would we learn? If things were handed to us how could we be truly grateful for our blessings? There cannot be mountains without valleys, and each make the other that much more marvelous.

Today I'm thankful for the valleys in my life and in my business because I know that mountains are sure to follow, and it's those mountains that give us the vantage point of the dazzling bigger picture and allow us to look back at the valleys and truly appreciate them for their beautiful role in our journey.

new year. new ideas.

A friend of mine just posted about her New Year resolutions, except she called them goals rather than resolutions. I liked that. I like the idea that I have things that I'm striving toward as this new year dawns, not just things that I've resolved to do, period, and then as soon as I leave off one of them I feel like a failure. These 'resolutions' or goals, are works-in-progress. And that makes them feel more doable, and makes me feel less completely worthless when I forget one day or just don't have the energy another.

I have great hopes for this year, and even bigger question marks, but bottom-line is that I know that I've been blessed beyond any bit of what I deserve, and I cannot wait to see what God has in store for Jeremy and me this year. Over the last couple days I've been thinking about some of the goals I have for this year, and have jotted down the ones I think should be mentioned, that way I can come back this time next year and not see what I've failed at, but how close I've come to accomplishing some goals and how I've blown others out of the water.


Caitlin's Goals for 2012 [in no particular order]


1. Create a budget, and stick to it.
  - I've come close to doing this one right before. I never quite got into the swing of things since we've been back from Scotland, and while Jeremy and I are both making decent money I know I need to be saving. I want to create a smart and doable budget, and really be able to keep up with it, while saving the maximum amount possible per month.

2. Quiet time every morning.
  - I've always been pretty good at finding excuses not to carve out a time each day for devotions, for reading the Bible, and spending time in prayer. Now that my biggest excuse is now non-existent (not having a regular schedule; I now work Monday through Friday 9AM to 5PM), I need to get over myself and wake up just one half hour earlier than I normally would. I know this is doable, and I know it will enrich every aspect of my life.

3. Exercise regularly.
   - Before we left Edinburgh I was consistently working out three days a week, and it felt good. I know that there are other things I'd like to do that regularly rather than working out, but I need to be exerting myself in some kind of cardio activity and muscle toning at least a few days a week. I don't know what that exercise will be yet, but in light of the 15K I signed up for in May I should probably run.

4. Eat healthier.
  - I don't eat particularly unhealthily now, but I know I need to put in more of an effort. I'd like to start juicing daily and doing smoothies (but those involve appliances that I do not have), so some kind of regular raw veggies and fruit would definitely do me good.

5. Set aside one night a week as 'date night' with Jeremy.
  - This one doesn't need to be anything fancy or even necessarily cost money, but I want us to do something once a week out of the ordinary and outside of our normal watching movies on Netflix in the evenings.

6. Play and practice my fiddle regularly again.
  - I've been depressingly negligent of my fiddle since we moved home. I've been using the excuse of its natural volume when I play and the fact that we basically live in someone's house to deter me from playing, which is fair enough. But I want to purchase a mute for my bridge and begin playing again. I've still got my ten year goal in mind.

7. Write more and write often.
  - I need to be writing every single day, period. Whether it's in my journal, on my blog, or creative writing and development for my novels, I need to be putting pen to paper, so-to-speak.

8. Work on creative writing at least three times a week.
  - You may think this falls under number seven, but I would probably find my way around working diligently on my stories if I didn't specify a set amount that I need to write per week. This is very important and I need to be writing creatively as often as possible.

9. Read.
  - I got a Kindle for Christmas (thanks, Jeremy!) and I definitely want to read more. But I also want to continue academic reading related to my Master's degree. I want to try to read some amount of something Highland Studies-ish once a week, because I think I have a while to go before truly becoming a Master of Highland Studies.

10. Begin studying Gaelic again.
  - I do not want to lose my Gaelic, and I enjoyed learning the language too much to just let it go to waste. I want to start studying up on it again, to continue learning it and to create opportunities for me to use it. Tha mi ag iarraidh Gàidhlig ionnsachadh a h-uile seachdain! (I want to study Gaelic every week.)


Bliadhna mhath ùr!  Happy New Year!



Caitlin

the ability to just be.

This is what I love about us.

four years later.

It was four years ago today that I made the best decision of my life.
It was four years ago today that I embarked on a journey full of love, laughter, tears, and life.
It was four years ago today that I married my best friend.
It was four years ago today that I married Jeremy Edmund Foreman.

I am so blessed to have spent these past four years being married to the love of my life, my best friend, my sweetheart, my one choice of the men on this earth. I will carry his heart with mine for all of my life in this world and beyond it. 


Here's a look back on our anniversaries past:

Year One. With our sweet pup, Cael.

Year Two. At Craggy Pinacle.

Year Three. At Biltmore Estate.

Year Four. In Dollar Glen on the way to Castle Campbell.

Our anniversaries just keep getting better and better. I can't wait to see what year five has in store for us. I love you, Jeremy, thanks for loving me back so well. 


Our day in Dollar Glen and the hike up to Castle Campbell was some of the most fun and jaw-dropping beauty I've had and seen here--which is saying something. It was amazing to spend it with the one person I really ever want to spend those moments with. 
We stopped to have our piece at a picnic table on the way into the glen. Jeremy, the romantic that he is, left our mark on the table.

An amazing day, an amazing husband, and we love each other an amazing amount. I am truly blessed.






Caitlin

north carolina. [the trip home.]

Though I'm notably still quite tired, I feel rested enough to write a wee bit about our time back home, and I feel like Jeremy and I experienced and did so many things (and still didn't get to do all we intended) that the longer I wait to write on it, the less I'll remember to include. Firstly, I must say that being away from those mountains made me appreciate anew and enjoy, like an old sweet song, the beauty, verdancy, and familiarity of those blue ridges. Being there again, nestled in between those mountains and sheltered by trees, surrounded by family and friends, we remembered and solidified our desire to move back home to those joyful things and settle down.

my mountains.

After a full twenty-four hours of travel once we arrived at the Foreman house, we stayed up a little longer to say hello to everyone there, receive and give long awaited hugs, and try to take in the reality that we were really there. Then we crashed. With the aid of a noisy morning and a Moments latte we awoke and again settled into the reality that we were home. Things were pretty crazy as it was two days before Laurel's wedding and Mom Foreman was working herself to the bone, as usual, to prepare the food to perfection, but we managed to see her and her sisters, Becky and Debby, in her kitchen to say hello and go in for more hugs. That Thursday was probably the calmest day we had, but we were still pretty busy helping Mom in the kitchen and running errands with Dad Foreman, not to mention picking kids up from school, and dropped others off at soccer practice.
The next two days flew by. There was a breakfast for all the girls at Laurel's house on Friday morning, with the famous blueberry pancakes and a topping that can really only be called icing, but it's so much better than that. It was great to take time to visit, meet, and enjoy the company of the women in one place before the craziness of the rehearsal and the actual wedding day. I also looked after Zoe, Rachel's daughter, that morning as both Rachel and Cory were working. It was fun to get to know my new niece, and get to know her stunning personality a bit more.

the Zoe.

The rehearsal was not in the location that the wedding actually ended up taking place as the rain had decided to let loose it's fury on the mountains that afternoon, but after a while we got things sorted and in a small respite from the rain we ran up and at least got an idea of what the ceremony would look like in the field it was originally planned to be. If the rain wants to exhaust itself the day before the wedding that was fine with all of us, but we implored it to finish and clear off before the actual wedding. [Which it reluctantly consented to do.]

Attempting a quick run-through before the rain arrives again.

The rehearsal dinner was full of love, laughs, and good company. Laurel and Kent so perfectly complement each other it was amazing to see them together, surrounded and lifted up by their closest family and friends, on the evening before they become one flesh in the sight of God.
The wedding day was another full one. There was a worship service in the morning at the site of the ceremony to set the day apart to the Lord, and it was done with reverence and joy.

Jeremy spending some quality time with our niece, Seren, after the morning service.

My job as photographer began around 2:30 in the afternoon, after helping with this and that at Laurel's before going back to the Foreman house to get ready.
Though the sky looked threatening at times, the rain abstained from its fall until much later in the evening. Though getting everything ready took a bit longer than expected, it all happened in its time and it was beautiful. The ceremony was so well done and put together, from the music, the prayers, the vows, the ring-bearer hound-dog, and ultimately the love between Kent and Laurel. The rain started to drop little by little as I rushed to get the group shots done, but it held up long enough to spend a good amount of time with just Laurel and Kent, though they definitely got a little wet on the back of the golf cart as we rushed to get them to the reception.

Yep, they climbed the high dive--in the rain.

The reception was full of good food, good people, good music, and some crazy dance moves. I was able to take my photographer mode down a notch and enjoy a bit of the reception as well. It was just lovely, and again, full of joy.
The next day everyone was pretty much shattered, but we went to church (again with the aid of Moments coffee) and after church headed back over to Merri-Mac where all the food from the wedding still was and gorged ourselves on leftovers. Yum. Eve's violin concert was next on the list, so Jeremy and I, Zak and Brittney piled into Caitlin's car and we all went to support Eve--who did amazingly in her concert. She's a great little violinist, and made me quite a proud aunt.
We spent some time with Josh and Christal and the kids after the concert before heading back out to see a movie with everyone. For anyone who cares, Priest had an amazing concept but utterly failed to deliver a good plot and story, so don't waste your time. Though I hear the comic books are brilliant, so if you're into that I have it on good authority to highly recommend them.
Priest was also quite short, and as some of the us went to a different movie we had to wait on them to finish as well--so we snuck into Thor and watched a little of it before we got the call to say we were ready to go. Jeremy and I have since gone back out to see Thor and thought it was a fun film, we definitely enjoyed it.
The next day I was able to reunite with my closest friend and dear heart, Chelsea Rose. The Rose and the Thistle together again! We went out to lunch at Las Cazuelas (finally, and yum!) and then took a walk about Montreat, just talking and catching up a little. It was as if we'd never been apart, just picking up where we left off--though at the same time we were both disbelieving that we were actually in the same place again. We took silly photos, as usual, and we laughed together and made plans to live near each other again.

After a while it began to lightly rain and we went back to pick up Jeremy. We went for another pick-me-up at Moments then headed out to Asheville. We stopped by Barnes and Noble for a while to wait on my brother, Jake, to call us back. He is now taking care of Cael for us, and we were, all of us, excited to go see the pup as well as my loving brother. So when we got the call we all got back into the car and rushed over to Jake's house.
Cael has gotten so big! In reality, I don't think he's that much taller than he was when we left, but he's fattened up a bit and filled in. He's no puppy anymore! But it was so wonderful to see him, pet him, and give him some long overdue loving. He seems really happy at Jake's, he and Peter have a dog as well, Olivia, who seems like she'll teach Cael a thing or two and keep him in his place. We spent some time there, and decided to stay for dinner as well. Chelsea took us back to Moments to get Jeremy's dad's car, as that was Chelsea's last night in NC and needed to spend it with her family. It was absolutely fantastic to see her, and I look forward to the next time as well. Maybe I can get my arse in gear, be a good friend, and write her another letter.
Back at Jake and Peter's we sat around, wine in hand, while the aromatic spices of Peter's cooking wafted around us. He put together an amazing chicken curry dish with coconut milk, and greens, and sweet potatoes and also some naan bread. I'm not doing justice to all that went into it, but it was delicious! It was lovely to catch up with Jake's life and hear about Peter's job search and projects he's got going on. And I'm going to say it again, it was so great to see Cael and really know that he's healing well and enjoying his place in Asheville. Thanks to Jake and Peter for taking him, and thanks to Drew and Kelsey for keeping him up until then.

Jake and Peter.

Me and my pup!

Jeremy and Cael.

The next two days flew by as well. I had every intention of doing so many more things than we were able to do, but I suppose that's how it goes sometimes. An inordinate amount of time was spent waiting on the locksmith to attempt to pick, cut, and eventually grind off the lock on our storage unit--the keys to which were lost or thrown away in the Foreman's moving house last December. We kept the key this time, knowing now that we'll be moving back in September. After that was finally taken care of, we went running errands with Caitlin, getting a storage bin for all the things we brought back with us from Scotland. We both had checked two bags each, and left one whole bag plus the majority of the other bag back in NC to begin moving our things back, hopefully we won't have as much to ship in September. After errand running we went for dinner as Las Cazuelas with Caitlin, Rachel, and Zoe. It was great to spend some time with them apart from the craziness of the wedding.
On our last full day we stopped by to see Cael one more time and to say goodbye to him, as well as Jake and Peter, it was hard to leave him again, but not nearly as difficult as it was the first time. I think knowing that we'll be home in a few months made the parting a little easier. After saying our goodbyes there, we headed back out to Arden to see Josh and Christal and the kids. It's always a good time with Josh and Christal, we enjoy their company so much and we love their kids as well, so there's always people to talk to, or in some cases, play with. Those kids are growing up so quickly, and I have to admit that it's been hard being here sometimes knowing that they're all growing up and changing without me there to see it. Josh and Christal graciously offered us dinner, though we implored with them that we didn't need to eat their food, but it was quite delicious. Christal's mother, Susan, was there as well, and it's always nice to see her too. She's like another mum to me as well. We spent hours there without really realizing it, and before we left Josh pulled out his guitar and Christal her cello and they played us some songs that they had written together. We were able to see them play together at the wedding, but it is always so incredible to see and hear them playing and singing together. They really are so talented, and another great complementary couple. It was sad to say goodbye, but again, knowing when we were coming back this time made it better. And as Eden said to his brother and sisters "It's only four months, and then they are coming back to stay forever!"

The breath-taking view from J&C's house.

Me and my little buddy, Eden.

Dimitri demonstrating his awesome hand-made kaleidoscope.

Josh and Christal about to play for us.

We got back late that evening, and soon realized any plans we may have had to squeeze things in in the morning weren't going to come to fruition as our ride to the airport had to come quite early because of other things needing to be done that day. So arriving at the airport at 9AM, thinking we were going to be able to switch my flight so I could travel with Jeremy for extremely cheap, basically being told 'just kidding', waiting around for hours, luckily realizing in time that my luggage was only tagged to Paris, fixing that, watching Jeremy fly away on his plan five hours before mine left, waiting, waiting, waiting, and studying for my exam, then finally beginning my arduous journey home, waiting in Atlanta until nearly midnight, then finally flying to Paris, sleeping through breakfast and almost not getting it at all, Jeremy nearly being able to wait until my flight in Paris and get 250 euros in the process then not being able to, and finally touching down in Edinburgh over another twenty-four hours later made for a crazy time of travel.
But were back now, and we have things to do here, things to see and experience and things to enjoy and photograph. So for now, Edinburgh is home, but we look forward to making that ridiculous trip over one more time and settling down in those Carolina mountains.
Thanks to everyone who gave us a bed to sleep in, a cell phone to use, a car to borrow, a meal in our bellies, one well-needed hug after another, a wedding at which to give joy, and so many other things. And apologies to those whom we meant to see and pass the time with but simply ran out of time to pass. We'll see you all soon, and catch up with no time limits.
Whew, that really was a doozy of a post. Thanks for slogging all the way through it if you did. I hope the photographs were able to break it up enough. No more long posts for a while, I promise.


Content right where she is and joyful for the opportunity to be home,

Caitlin

i heart faces. [motherhood]

How apt that this week's i heart faces challenge is motherhood. There are many mothers in my life right now, as I mentioned in my Mother's Day blog, and there are many who have inspired me to be a great mother myself when the time comes. My own amazing and talented mother, of course, will have probably the biggest impact on my mothering style and inclinations, but another mother in my life taught me--as an adult--about the day-to-day life of being a mom, a wife, and woman, an artist, a fashion designer, a seamstress, a teacher, I could literally go on and on. Christal is my sister-in-law, she married Jeremy's brother, and she currently has five children. I have been with the family since before the third one, Eden, was born. She has had home births for all of her kids, and I have proudly been on 'Call when labor begins' list for both of the children since Eden as well. Before I met Jeremy and his family I was quite nervous around children, more specifically infants, I just didn't know how to hold them and I may or may not have thought I'd hurt them if I breathed on them too hard.
But the early morning that Eden was born I was able to hold him at just hours old. It was perhaps one of the most memorable experiences of my life, that, and then also a year or two later when I sang him to sleep in my arms for the first time and felt his little body calm down and finally yield to sleep with his sweet little cheek against my chest as I sang 'Old MacDonald', his favorite song, to him in slower and quieter tones the longer I sang. Anyway, I have been present for the next two births, Ariel and then Seren as well.
My entry this week is from Seren's birth. She is only minutes old in this shot, and Christal had just had her put into her arms and looked at her third daughter for the first time. The hand in the photo is actually Christal's oldest daughter, Eve, eager to make a connection to her new little sister. I love that Seren has wrapped her little hand around Eve's finger, the only kind of hug she can give. As trite as 'the miracle of birth' may sound, it is remarkably true, even as a bystander. I look forward to continuing to learn and love with my nieces and nephews, who have lovingly and sometimes frustratingly helped prepare me for when I have kids of my own.

Check out the other entries for this week by clicking the link above.

happy mother's day!

Happy Mother's Day to my wonderful mum, as well as my marvelous mother-in-law. I've admitted gotten pretty lucky in the case of both of those roles in my life, and I am so thankful for them. A happy day also to all the other mothers in my life, both family and friends, I hope your day is filled with joy and delight, love and laughter. Even though it might not feel like it all the time, being a mother is one of the most important and awesome vocations one can be called to, and I appreciate all of the mothers in my life being a beacon of inspiration and a tower of learning. Thanks to mothers especially today, but let us all try to appreciate the ones in our lives every single day of the year.
Cheers to Mums!

My own Mother and me, from the last six years.

being together.

Jeremy and I had a number of errands to do yesterday in preparation for our trip back to North Carolina next week, one of which being a jaunt to an outdoor/army supply store down on Leith Walk. So we took the bus, though we rarely do that--I think memories of the last time we walked from the bottom of Leith Walk all the way to West End full of burning feet and blisters still haunt us. We caught the bus, got only a block or two turned around but eventually found what we were looking for. It's so nice to get out and about again, to see parts of the city we haven't really seen in months. As we were walking back up Leith Walk to a different bus stop we popped into a near-empty pub for a sit-down, a drink, and to enjoy each other's company. The pub was quite neat on the inside, deep mahogany paneling with matching furniture trimmed in a forest green leather. The pub only had a few people in it, so we went to the back corner--past the adorable old man with his whole bag of golf clubs beside him, and we just sat and reveled in being together, not doing anything.

Here we are, together. :)

Things seem to have been on auto-pilot lately, and we seem to rarely cross paths--though we have for extended periods of time, it was more like just being in the same room than spending time together. So our whole day out was almost like a date-day, even though we went out for errands and not specifically for amorous intentions. But it's nice to be reminded why we were attracted to each other in the first place, and to look at my husband and know that he is mine and I am his, and that neither of us have to worry about the 'dating scene' ever again--though we can lovingly, and sometimes laughingly, remember our time of dating each other. We laughed and talked, and then we caught a bus back home, ran a few more errands--made fun of the girls running around Edinburgh in just tights and a top, they apparently think tights pass for trousers, someone should tell the poor lambs--then back home, and I made some dinner and we spent some more time together. It was nice to be together again, really together and not just near each other. I am so thankful for my husband, and so blessed to have him in my life.

Here I am, modeling my drink and the opulently colored furniture.

A happy wife,

Caitlin

i heart faces. [shadows]

This week's challenge on i heart faces is 'shadows.' As shadows and contrast are two of my favorite artistic elements, and ones I use quite often, I thought that entering this week would be a great idea. Shadows have always fascinated me. Ever since seeing Peter Pan as a child, the idea of shadows having a mind of their own piqued my imagination. This shot was from a wedding I did a few years ago, Emily and Matt. Their love was so physically present and tangible, it wouldn't have surprised me to see that manifesting itself independently in their shadows as well. Maybe it did...

 

a wednesday.

A few things that have made this a good day:

Feeling pretty good after taking my Gaelic test this morning.
Walking home from class in sunshine.
Seeing this on my way to meet Jeremy's aunt for coffee.

Spring is coming!

Knowing that even the snowfall last night couldn't hold back these crocuses and their spring splendor.

Having a mocha and a good chat with Aunt Tessa, and then getting to hold the three-month-old she was babysitting.
Going to see my husband at work, he gives the best hugs.
Perusing a vintage shop on the way home.
This cup of afternoon tea.

Knowing that I'm going to make a fair dent in my Traditional Narrative essay tonight.

So here's to a good day, yeah?

I also wanted to call myself out to you lot, because I have made myself a liar. In my post about my crocheted socks, I said that those would be the last creative thing I would do before I turned in my dissertation. Well, I was mistaken. The other day I started crocheting a hat, and a couple days later I had finished it without really thinking about it. Whoops. Oh well, now I have a new hat. It's quite nice actually, it's a slouchy kind of hat with nice ribbing and it's a warm brown color as well. I've enjoyed wearing it on this chilly almost-spring day--I can't bring myself to admit it's still winter, I am so ready for spring. Here are a couple snap-shots of my new hat.

On another exciting front, I was given a gift certificate to Amazon.com for my upcoming birthday, and I ordered some adorable shoes that I have been wanting, and they arrived yesterday! I've been wanting and needing some black shoes that aren't heels, and are dressy, but that also aren't ballet flats because my feet get so cold. I've been seeing these kind of shoes around for a while, and I love how classy and vintage they are. I'll be able to wear them with nearly any kind of outfit, so I'm excited to try them out.
Here's a photo of the new wardrobe addition.

It's so lovely to begin to notice spring's imminent arrival, isn't it? As I was walking to meet Aunt Tessa for coffee across the Meadows and I saw the long pathway of those mighty little crocuses, that promise of new life and color, the knowledge that the darkness is receding and light is staking it's claim upon the season again--it made me warmer somehow, even though this windy day was bitingly cold. I was warmed by the thought of spring. How beautiful is it that anticipation can have that effect? The knowledge that something better is coming, something you've been waiting for through the long winter. And it's even sweeter because we've been through this winter; spring's life and light just wouldn't be the same if we didn't have the darkness and the cold, the depth of winter still keeping its tenuous hold on us as we see the signs of springs arrival, and then that grasp finally breaks with the warm breath of spring finally returning to greet us. And we smile and laugh and remember the winter, we remember the chill and the dark, and we delight in the newness of the warmth and light.
So come, spring, I am waiting to delight in you once again.

Most contentedly,

Caitlin

hers was a life beautiful.

It's been two years today since Ryan Alea was unfettered from her bonds of this earth, and it hasn't gotten any less surreal that she's really gone. Nor has this day hasn't gotten any easier to deal with.
Miss you, RAY.

a mountain summer.

As February plods along, and I keep spying comments from my friends back in North Carolina about how beautiful the weather is there right now, I cannot help but reminisce about last summer. The summer I thought I might be leaving the Carolina mountains for good, the summer that saw so many memories made and much laughter heard. I didn't know it then, but it was the beginning of my realization, my realization that I love those mountains, and those forests and creeks--they had become part of who I am.
I've never been a huge poetry writer, I tend more for prose myself, but last summer I was incited to compose a poem. When I did rarely write poetry it was usually about longing for somewhere I wasn't, the occasional nature poem, or something about Jeremy and me. But this came out of no where, and I had to write it down, then I honed it, perfected it, and ended up loving it. It was like nothing I'd ever written before. It's one of those poems that you've written and you vaguely recognize the people in it, the feelings, and the surroundings, but it's not quite you--it's like your life in an alternate reality, if that makes sense. A poesy-version of your life.
Well, all this talk of spring and my recent discovery of my belonging to that place has made me remember that poem, and I thought I would share with you all. So without any more explanation, here it is.

Carolina Mountain Song

I’ll keep these memories in a mason jar, this sweet Carolina summer.

We make muggy memories while sipping sweet tea that clinks with amber ice on the porch,

The glasses in our hands sweating as much as we are.

But we don’t care much because we have each other, sweat and all.           

Our salty skin sticks together in a brief embrace.

The heat may restrain the physical touch of our promises,

But cannot hinder the way his eyes linger, like a honeybee over a new flower, on my face; my chest,

Breathing, glistening in the summer sun, as a river of salt runs down my dress.

Gloaming in the mountains has descended, and we revel in her mystery.

A vividly pale beauty that encompasses every color and none at all in one glance

The mountain song wings through the trees, touching every oak and pine

That air finds its way to us and plays us her music, sweet like summer strawberries, beneath the fading light.

The sun hides her face behind the ridges, but the heat doesn’t seem to notice

Pinks and purples color the sky in shades only found on a night like this once in your life

They creep across the misty mountains with otherworldly shades and shadows.

He tucks a dark curl behind my ear and sings a song meant for only me and these mountains.

Orchestras of lightning bugs are lightening up the twilit trees against a craggy blue,

And the smell of rain is fragrant on the evening breeze.

Oh, that breeze! Our own little piece of heaven

In this humid heat you could cut with a knife.

“Well… it’s a nice night for a knife fight.”

He says in a drawl more southern than my red gingham dress.

His green eyes meet my blue ones and we laugh and sigh together

For our last sweet summer in high Carolina.

by Caitlin B. Foreman 

Well, hopefully that can tide me over a wee bit until spring really does make herself known here in Scotland, and until I can go back and appreciate the summer dusk of the Carolina mountains once again.

Caitlin

a few of the things...

that made my Valentine's day full of joy...

My husband bringing me home two dozen red tulips.

 ...and chocolates! Which I shared with him of course. I secretly think he bought them more for himself than for me, but he generously makes sure I eat as many as I want then he'll swoop in and eat the others. :)

The way the afternoon light illuminated the tulips when set in front of our window, and how I'd forgotten how much I love tulips until he came home with them.

Getting to spend a special day with my guy, mo leannan. And getting one of those rare photos with both of us in it--that we both like.

Sitting down to and enjoying a dinner of steak with bleu cheese butter, bacon-spinach mashed potatoes, and lemon-butter asparagus tips, and the look on Jeremy's face when he put the first bite in his mouth--it was apparently still really hot. I'm kidding, it's so rewarding cooking for Jeremy because he loves everything I put in front of him.

I appreciate Jeremy every day, but it's good to have another day in the year to remind us to tell each other again how much we mean to one another.

I am so thankful to have been blessed with a husband like Jeremy, I couldn't have asked for more. I hope everyone else had a great Valentine's day as well, regardless of whether you've found your perfect other half to spend with whom to spend it.


Caitlin

heritage.

I was asked today if I could choose any citizenship to have in the world, what it would be. My answer was actually quite surprising to me, and will be to anyone reading this who knows me well. I thought about it, and replied,
"If you had asked me this six months ago, I would have undoubtedly said Irish, Scottish, or British. But today, honestly, I'm an American and I'm quite happy to be. I'd take dual-citizenship, sure, but I'll keep my American citizenship, thank you."
To anyone who has heard me pine away for Ireland in the last seven years since I first visited, this might come as a surprise. Don't take this wrong though, I am quite happy to be where I am right now, in Scotland learning about things that most definitely concern my heritage. But this semester my classes comprise of two subjects very interesting to me, Traditional Narrative and Traditional Gaelic Song. Through my lectures and reading so far, especially in Traditional Gaelic Song, we have looked at the idea of song and sense of place. This element is very important in Gaelic song and poetry--which are virtually interchangeable--and is something worth a closer study in understand the nature of the songs. Yesterday in class the lecturer, Dr. Margaret Mackay talked to us about what sense of place means, and she mentioned a Spanish word--pardon my forgetting the actual word--that essentially means a feeling of belonging, of home, a sense of being right where you needed to be. She then asked the class to go round and talk about what that might mean to us individuals.
Being away from family and home in North Carolina has been more difficult than I had foreseen. Coming to Scotland was the fruition of a dream I've had for a long time, and I hadn't even considered the fact that I might miss where I had come from. I knew I would miss family, but since my family is already so far spread across this green earth I didn't think much of flinging my own little family of Jeremy and myself out across the wide sea. But I'm not just a Barker anymore, I'm a Foreman and I had become embedded in that family so much that my abrupt uprooting was more jarring than I anticipated. I miss family birthday gatherings, I miss little children, my nieces and nephews running around, I miss having brothers and sisters around all the time, and I miss the occasional but always memorable encounters of sitting and just listening to Grandmother and Grandfather tell stories.
So when it came to me to speak in class yesterday, to tell about what created my sense of belonging or place I didn't hesitate in saying "family." And not only family, I said, again to my surprise, but the green sheltering mountains of the Blue Ridges in our little mountain valley. There's a sense of safety and comfort about that place, those mountains, and those verdant forests. That's not to say I haven't felt that sense of belonging elsewhere, I have, in Ireland so many years ago and here in Scotland as well. But I've realized that here is not where I really belong. My ancestors belonged here, and so it runs in my blood, but my ancestors picked up and moved in a perilous journey over the sea to make better lives for their families--I am that family, generations later, and I am thankful for their sacrifice, for their own uprooting and departure of that familiar comfort and belonging. I owe it to them to not just cast away the new heritage they created for me in coming back to the old, unimpressed with the new, but to appreciate the heritage of my immediate family and delight in coming here and discovering a new facet of who I am.
That's what I was missing before. I was so ready to go back to my deep roots and become what my ancestors were, that I forgot where my actual home was, where I really belonged.
Not only that, but in studying the culture and folk life I so longed for here, I realized that the tradition and folk culture from whence I came is in part cut from the same cloth as that of this rich place, and that I grew up knowing it and participating in it.
And so, in realizing my dream and coming to the British Isles to study and become part of its tradition I have realized that was already part of a tradition just as rich, and so very similar. If nothing else is accomplished here--though I know it will be--I am happy to finally realize what I have in my cozy, mountain-crowned corner of western North Carolina, and that I dearly miss it, my roots still aching there, with family, friends, familiarity, and belonging. I see the country of my ancestors and love it like they did, but I will not forsake what they gave up for me.
I hope this post makes sense. I am so happy with what Jeremy and I are doing here, it's an adventure that we'll never forget, it's part of who we are, it's in our blood and our connection to it is undeniable--but it's not home. We will come home after a much-needed and well-appreciated jaunt back to the roots of our heritage.
Part of my missing home is probably the fact that I'm living in a city, and not used to it. I like it, but I'm definitely more of an open-country, trees, mountains, wildlife kind of girl. Here are some things I'll be happy to see again.

Early morning mountain fog on Black Mountain's railroad tracks.

The absolute breath-taking beauty of autumn in the mountains.

The verdant green of the Carolina forest, climbing Craggy Pinnacle.

Far off views of mountains at sunset and woodland as far as the eye can see.

a new year.

Well, here we are, it's another new year. Twenty-eleven. Doesn't it seem like just a second ago that it was the year 2000, and here we are now, closer to 2020 than 2000. I don't really think I can get my brain wrapped around that. This year past has brought many changes for Jeremy and I, and if this new year brings even half of the excitement of the last, it shall be quite a year, indeed. I will be graduating with a Master's degree this year, and we shall be deciding if staying in Scotland is in the cards for us. Decisions will be made, another move is almost inevitable, and perhaps just maybe I might be able to start a career--but who knows?
There is a little kitten sleeping in the chair next to me. No, we didn't get another pet. We're watching Jeremy's cousin Tom's cat, called Pete. He's quite cute and fun to play with, but admittedly he just makes me miss Cael. Hopefully, he's another thing this year will bring us. I'll be pursuing options to having Cael shipped over, and I hope all goes smoothly so that we may have him with us again. My brother decided to keep him for us just a little longer, and we are grateful. Though the fact that I haven't seen him in over four months now is rather painful sometimes.
I've resolved this year to put myself out there more, to make friends, and not worry about making a fool out of myself. There are so many things that I have missed out on, and will miss out on, if I continue to worry about what others may think of me. And really, I think I'm giving them and myself too much credit to assume I would be more than a passing thought in some people's minds. I live in Scotland, and I was to see it, to have adventures here, to experience it to the fullest, because I might be going back to the States in less than a year, and I might not come back. I'm young, I'm outgoing (kind of), and I have the world at my fingertips, so why not take advantage?
I will write more this year. Not including my dissertation. I will write more for myself this year.
I will take every opportunity this year to learn all that I can, within and outside the classroom.
I will love well this year, and learn how to serve selflessly, all whom I come into contact with.
I will learn to play the fiddle, and by the end of the year, attempt to play at a session in a pub here in Edinburgh.
I will look back on this year in 2012, and be completely pleased with what I have accomplished.

What are your resolutions for the year? And how do you plan on keeping them?
Oh, and since I promised. Here are some photos of our new(ish) flat on West Crosscauseway.

The lounge and library. There's a door to the right leading to the hallway.

The other half of the lounge/dining room/study

The bedroom. I would love it, if that fireplace worked, but alas, it doesn't.

The kitchen, the door into it is to the left of the table in the previous lounge photo.

Now you have a better picture of how we're living over here. Not pictured is the entry hallway which has doors to the bathroom, our bedroom, and the lounge--but it's not really exciting enough to photograph.

I hope everyone's 2011 brings them the pleasantly unexpected.  

Bliadhna mhath ùr!

Caitlin