one year.

This past Wednesday was a big day. My little baby, my beautiful and sweet girl turned one! I cannot believe how quickly that year flew by, and here I am, a mother to a one-year-old. She has such a precious heart and a sweet disposition, and she's funny too! She's silly and loves to play around and have books read to her. She's almost walking - she easily could be by now, but she's a careful one and won't do it till she's sure she won't fall-- any day now though! She babbles up a storm all the time, and says 'Da-da' and 'Da-dee' regularly - only sometimes though is she actually calling for her Daddy. She's eating food now -- I'm making it all for her-- and her favorites include strawberries and sweet potatoes. She loves going for walks in Montreat, and I can't wait to show her how to play in the creeks this summer. Her Nana and Major were in town for her big day and she loved playing with them and being held by them, and having books read to her - not sure who enjoyed it more actually.

I am blessed daily in the knowledge that she is my daughter, and that I was picked specifically to be her mum. She is learning and growing every single day and I am so glad that I am able to be home with her and not miss a single minute of it. I have loved so much being a mother to Josie, and I am so excited to see with what else (and who else) God is going to bless our family.

Her birthday was full of love and family - she shares her day with her daddy, which is so special! She opened some presents smashed some whipped cream and fruit, and generally just made everyone happy-- she's great at that. She was tired, but so sweet the whole day. I just can't get over what an amazing disposition she has. I know God has big plans for this little girl, and I'm so honored to part of her life.

i heart faces. [beautiful eyes]

I know I've posted this photo before on my blog, but I couldn't resist bringing it back for i heart faces' challenge this week. I remember being completely enchanted when I got this shot and brought it up on my computer screen, her eyes are just so captivating. I also miss her dearly. She's about to start her second year at college, and I haven't seen her in far too long.
I will be remedying that soon, sister.

Check out the other entries this week by clicking the icon above.

belated bavaria and my lack of updates.

I fear that this space will be rather sparse for the remainder of our time in Edinburgh. I've got so much on my plate that I'm going to have to place this on the back burner for a while. Once we're home and relatively settled I've have no doubt that I'll be back with plenty to say, but I foresee little free time to fill this little white box with my comings and goings for the next few weeks.
That being said, I can give you a little taster of our long weekend in Bavaria. We went to visit my parents who have been living there since 2007, and enjoying the fruits of this Bavarian summer these last few months. It's still quite cool there, and it has rained quite often this summer, but we were able to find one full day of sunshine and warmth. We ate far too much delicious Bavarian food, and enjoyed the company of my loving parents. We cooked-out on the grill--which is something I've been dying to do for lack of it here in Edinburgh, and I relished the smell of BBQ, baked beans, and corn-on-the-cob.
I also got the chance to go riding with my dad on that sunny day we had. Nope, not horseback, but something just as exhilarating. Motorcycle. Yep. My dad finally got his bike. He's been wanting one for years, probably since his motorcycling time at Montreat when he and my mom were dating. Well, he has one now, a nice BMW with a smooth ride and lots of torque. It was impossible not to smile as the wind rushed past us on those beautiful back-roads of German countryside, and he pushed the speedometer higher and higher. It took a while for the feeling of "If I let go right now I'd go flying off the back of this thing and probably die" to subside, but once it did I was a junkie for speed and "woo!"ed everytime we came to a stretch of straight road. It was fun to spend some father-daughter time with my dad too. We haven't been able to do that in a while.
My mom and I spend some time cooking together in the kitchen--not much, but hey, we did. And also plenty of time poring over my dissertation for grammatical errors and ways to cut down my long-winded and scenic ways of saying things. My prose-style is definitely more conducive to creative writing than academic writing, but I'm holding my own.
It was lovely to see my parents, and they were lovely to have us and take us out to eat, and BBQ with us, and just generally loving on us. A break from everything was exactly what we needed, and we came back refreshed and ready (for the most part) to take on what this month is going to throw at us.
Those of you who are inclined, if you could pray for us as we finish our time here. That everything comes together as it should, and that we are able to get out of our flat, get our deposit and tie up all our loose ends easily and completely.
Here is a smattering of photos from our Bavarian weekend.

Until next time... (which may, in fact, be once we're home in our Blue Ridge Mountains!)


Caitlin

north carolina. [the trip home.]

Though I'm notably still quite tired, I feel rested enough to write a wee bit about our time back home, and I feel like Jeremy and I experienced and did so many things (and still didn't get to do all we intended) that the longer I wait to write on it, the less I'll remember to include. Firstly, I must say that being away from those mountains made me appreciate anew and enjoy, like an old sweet song, the beauty, verdancy, and familiarity of those blue ridges. Being there again, nestled in between those mountains and sheltered by trees, surrounded by family and friends, we remembered and solidified our desire to move back home to those joyful things and settle down.

my mountains.

After a full twenty-four hours of travel once we arrived at the Foreman house, we stayed up a little longer to say hello to everyone there, receive and give long awaited hugs, and try to take in the reality that we were really there. Then we crashed. With the aid of a noisy morning and a Moments latte we awoke and again settled into the reality that we were home. Things were pretty crazy as it was two days before Laurel's wedding and Mom Foreman was working herself to the bone, as usual, to prepare the food to perfection, but we managed to see her and her sisters, Becky and Debby, in her kitchen to say hello and go in for more hugs. That Thursday was probably the calmest day we had, but we were still pretty busy helping Mom in the kitchen and running errands with Dad Foreman, not to mention picking kids up from school, and dropped others off at soccer practice.
The next two days flew by. There was a breakfast for all the girls at Laurel's house on Friday morning, with the famous blueberry pancakes and a topping that can really only be called icing, but it's so much better than that. It was great to take time to visit, meet, and enjoy the company of the women in one place before the craziness of the rehearsal and the actual wedding day. I also looked after Zoe, Rachel's daughter, that morning as both Rachel and Cory were working. It was fun to get to know my new niece, and get to know her stunning personality a bit more.

the Zoe.

The rehearsal was not in the location that the wedding actually ended up taking place as the rain had decided to let loose it's fury on the mountains that afternoon, but after a while we got things sorted and in a small respite from the rain we ran up and at least got an idea of what the ceremony would look like in the field it was originally planned to be. If the rain wants to exhaust itself the day before the wedding that was fine with all of us, but we implored it to finish and clear off before the actual wedding. [Which it reluctantly consented to do.]

Attempting a quick run-through before the rain arrives again.

The rehearsal dinner was full of love, laughs, and good company. Laurel and Kent so perfectly complement each other it was amazing to see them together, surrounded and lifted up by their closest family and friends, on the evening before they become one flesh in the sight of God.
The wedding day was another full one. There was a worship service in the morning at the site of the ceremony to set the day apart to the Lord, and it was done with reverence and joy.

Jeremy spending some quality time with our niece, Seren, after the morning service.

My job as photographer began around 2:30 in the afternoon, after helping with this and that at Laurel's before going back to the Foreman house to get ready.
Though the sky looked threatening at times, the rain abstained from its fall until much later in the evening. Though getting everything ready took a bit longer than expected, it all happened in its time and it was beautiful. The ceremony was so well done and put together, from the music, the prayers, the vows, the ring-bearer hound-dog, and ultimately the love between Kent and Laurel. The rain started to drop little by little as I rushed to get the group shots done, but it held up long enough to spend a good amount of time with just Laurel and Kent, though they definitely got a little wet on the back of the golf cart as we rushed to get them to the reception.

Yep, they climbed the high dive--in the rain.

The reception was full of good food, good people, good music, and some crazy dance moves. I was able to take my photographer mode down a notch and enjoy a bit of the reception as well. It was just lovely, and again, full of joy.
The next day everyone was pretty much shattered, but we went to church (again with the aid of Moments coffee) and after church headed back over to Merri-Mac where all the food from the wedding still was and gorged ourselves on leftovers. Yum. Eve's violin concert was next on the list, so Jeremy and I, Zak and Brittney piled into Caitlin's car and we all went to support Eve--who did amazingly in her concert. She's a great little violinist, and made me quite a proud aunt.
We spent some time with Josh and Christal and the kids after the concert before heading back out to see a movie with everyone. For anyone who cares, Priest had an amazing concept but utterly failed to deliver a good plot and story, so don't waste your time. Though I hear the comic books are brilliant, so if you're into that I have it on good authority to highly recommend them.
Priest was also quite short, and as some of the us went to a different movie we had to wait on them to finish as well--so we snuck into Thor and watched a little of it before we got the call to say we were ready to go. Jeremy and I have since gone back out to see Thor and thought it was a fun film, we definitely enjoyed it.
The next day I was able to reunite with my closest friend and dear heart, Chelsea Rose. The Rose and the Thistle together again! We went out to lunch at Las Cazuelas (finally, and yum!) and then took a walk about Montreat, just talking and catching up a little. It was as if we'd never been apart, just picking up where we left off--though at the same time we were both disbelieving that we were actually in the same place again. We took silly photos, as usual, and we laughed together and made plans to live near each other again.

After a while it began to lightly rain and we went back to pick up Jeremy. We went for another pick-me-up at Moments then headed out to Asheville. We stopped by Barnes and Noble for a while to wait on my brother, Jake, to call us back. He is now taking care of Cael for us, and we were, all of us, excited to go see the pup as well as my loving brother. So when we got the call we all got back into the car and rushed over to Jake's house.
Cael has gotten so big! In reality, I don't think he's that much taller than he was when we left, but he's fattened up a bit and filled in. He's no puppy anymore! But it was so wonderful to see him, pet him, and give him some long overdue loving. He seems really happy at Jake's, he and Peter have a dog as well, Olivia, who seems like she'll teach Cael a thing or two and keep him in his place. We spent some time there, and decided to stay for dinner as well. Chelsea took us back to Moments to get Jeremy's dad's car, as that was Chelsea's last night in NC and needed to spend it with her family. It was absolutely fantastic to see her, and I look forward to the next time as well. Maybe I can get my arse in gear, be a good friend, and write her another letter.
Back at Jake and Peter's we sat around, wine in hand, while the aromatic spices of Peter's cooking wafted around us. He put together an amazing chicken curry dish with coconut milk, and greens, and sweet potatoes and also some naan bread. I'm not doing justice to all that went into it, but it was delicious! It was lovely to catch up with Jake's life and hear about Peter's job search and projects he's got going on. And I'm going to say it again, it was so great to see Cael and really know that he's healing well and enjoying his place in Asheville. Thanks to Jake and Peter for taking him, and thanks to Drew and Kelsey for keeping him up until then.

Jake and Peter.

Me and my pup!

Jeremy and Cael.

The next two days flew by as well. I had every intention of doing so many more things than we were able to do, but I suppose that's how it goes sometimes. An inordinate amount of time was spent waiting on the locksmith to attempt to pick, cut, and eventually grind off the lock on our storage unit--the keys to which were lost or thrown away in the Foreman's moving house last December. We kept the key this time, knowing now that we'll be moving back in September. After that was finally taken care of, we went running errands with Caitlin, getting a storage bin for all the things we brought back with us from Scotland. We both had checked two bags each, and left one whole bag plus the majority of the other bag back in NC to begin moving our things back, hopefully we won't have as much to ship in September. After errand running we went for dinner as Las Cazuelas with Caitlin, Rachel, and Zoe. It was great to spend some time with them apart from the craziness of the wedding.
On our last full day we stopped by to see Cael one more time and to say goodbye to him, as well as Jake and Peter, it was hard to leave him again, but not nearly as difficult as it was the first time. I think knowing that we'll be home in a few months made the parting a little easier. After saying our goodbyes there, we headed back out to Arden to see Josh and Christal and the kids. It's always a good time with Josh and Christal, we enjoy their company so much and we love their kids as well, so there's always people to talk to, or in some cases, play with. Those kids are growing up so quickly, and I have to admit that it's been hard being here sometimes knowing that they're all growing up and changing without me there to see it. Josh and Christal graciously offered us dinner, though we implored with them that we didn't need to eat their food, but it was quite delicious. Christal's mother, Susan, was there as well, and it's always nice to see her too. She's like another mum to me as well. We spent hours there without really realizing it, and before we left Josh pulled out his guitar and Christal her cello and they played us some songs that they had written together. We were able to see them play together at the wedding, but it is always so incredible to see and hear them playing and singing together. They really are so talented, and another great complementary couple. It was sad to say goodbye, but again, knowing when we were coming back this time made it better. And as Eden said to his brother and sisters "It's only four months, and then they are coming back to stay forever!"

The breath-taking view from J&C's house.

Me and my little buddy, Eden.

Dimitri demonstrating his awesome hand-made kaleidoscope.

Josh and Christal about to play for us.

We got back late that evening, and soon realized any plans we may have had to squeeze things in in the morning weren't going to come to fruition as our ride to the airport had to come quite early because of other things needing to be done that day. So arriving at the airport at 9AM, thinking we were going to be able to switch my flight so I could travel with Jeremy for extremely cheap, basically being told 'just kidding', waiting around for hours, luckily realizing in time that my luggage was only tagged to Paris, fixing that, watching Jeremy fly away on his plan five hours before mine left, waiting, waiting, waiting, and studying for my exam, then finally beginning my arduous journey home, waiting in Atlanta until nearly midnight, then finally flying to Paris, sleeping through breakfast and almost not getting it at all, Jeremy nearly being able to wait until my flight in Paris and get 250 euros in the process then not being able to, and finally touching down in Edinburgh over another twenty-four hours later made for a crazy time of travel.
But were back now, and we have things to do here, things to see and experience and things to enjoy and photograph. So for now, Edinburgh is home, but we look forward to making that ridiculous trip over one more time and settling down in those Carolina mountains.
Thanks to everyone who gave us a bed to sleep in, a cell phone to use, a car to borrow, a meal in our bellies, one well-needed hug after another, a wedding at which to give joy, and so many other things. And apologies to those whom we meant to see and pass the time with but simply ran out of time to pass. We'll see you all soon, and catch up with no time limits.
Whew, that really was a doozy of a post. Thanks for slogging all the way through it if you did. I hope the photographs were able to break it up enough. No more long posts for a while, I promise.


Content right where she is and joyful for the opportunity to be home,

Caitlin

i heart faces. [motherhood]

How apt that this week's i heart faces challenge is motherhood. There are many mothers in my life right now, as I mentioned in my Mother's Day blog, and there are many who have inspired me to be a great mother myself when the time comes. My own amazing and talented mother, of course, will have probably the biggest impact on my mothering style and inclinations, but another mother in my life taught me--as an adult--about the day-to-day life of being a mom, a wife, and woman, an artist, a fashion designer, a seamstress, a teacher, I could literally go on and on. Christal is my sister-in-law, she married Jeremy's brother, and she currently has five children. I have been with the family since before the third one, Eden, was born. She has had home births for all of her kids, and I have proudly been on 'Call when labor begins' list for both of the children since Eden as well. Before I met Jeremy and his family I was quite nervous around children, more specifically infants, I just didn't know how to hold them and I may or may not have thought I'd hurt them if I breathed on them too hard.
But the early morning that Eden was born I was able to hold him at just hours old. It was perhaps one of the most memorable experiences of my life, that, and then also a year or two later when I sang him to sleep in my arms for the first time and felt his little body calm down and finally yield to sleep with his sweet little cheek against my chest as I sang 'Old MacDonald', his favorite song, to him in slower and quieter tones the longer I sang. Anyway, I have been present for the next two births, Ariel and then Seren as well.
My entry this week is from Seren's birth. She is only minutes old in this shot, and Christal had just had her put into her arms and looked at her third daughter for the first time. The hand in the photo is actually Christal's oldest daughter, Eve, eager to make a connection to her new little sister. I love that Seren has wrapped her little hand around Eve's finger, the only kind of hug she can give. As trite as 'the miracle of birth' may sound, it is remarkably true, even as a bystander. I look forward to continuing to learn and love with my nieces and nephews, who have lovingly and sometimes frustratingly helped prepare me for when I have kids of my own.

Check out the other entries for this week by clicking the link above.

happy mother's day!

Happy Mother's Day to my wonderful mum, as well as my marvelous mother-in-law. I've admitted gotten pretty lucky in the case of both of those roles in my life, and I am so thankful for them. A happy day also to all the other mothers in my life, both family and friends, I hope your day is filled with joy and delight, love and laughter. Even though it might not feel like it all the time, being a mother is one of the most important and awesome vocations one can be called to, and I appreciate all of the mothers in my life being a beacon of inspiration and a tower of learning. Thanks to mothers especially today, but let us all try to appreciate the ones in our lives every single day of the year.
Cheers to Mums!

My own Mother and me, from the last six years.

good for the soul.

I just spent three hours talking, laughing, and reminiscing with my closest friend on Skype, and I had no idea how much my soul needed that. She makes me laugh and lifts me up more than anyone except Jeremy, and knows just what to say to keep me encouraged and confident in my studies and intellect. I got further bouncing dissertation ideas off of her than I did with professors at school. She knows how I think and knows the questions to ask to get my thinking in the right direction. And sometimes we are just insane together, and I miss those silly times in front of photobooth taking ridiculous photos of ourselves. God blessed me majorly when he gave me Chelsea as a friend, and I pray that I am as much of a blessing to her as she is to me. Thank God for bosom friends, right Anne Shirley?

One of the first photos of us taken.

One of the last photos of us together before our lives took us to separate places.

We have way too much fun.

a day in the highlands and other such happenings.

This past week has been a whirlwind of emotion, of fun, of fellowship, and of sight-seeing. As you know from my last post, my parents came to Edinburgh last weekend to visit Jeremy and me, and to celebrate my birthday as well. It was wonderful not only seeing them, but being able to see Edinburgh through the eyes of a tourist again. I know there's a stigma attached to being touristy, especially when you live in a place, but there's something special about looking at a place through the lens of the expectant and awe-filled tourist. So it was nice to get another glimpse of this amazing city--and Scotland itself--with that doe-eyed wonder of newness and awe. We did a number of things in Edinburgh itself, and also went to Stirling, which was brilliant. On Wednesday we went on a tour at the Whisky Experience at the top of the Royal Mile, and I have to admit that it was quite well done. They have the largest single collection of single malt whisky in the world, which was quite impressive in its back-lit glass shelving. My father and Jeremy enjoyed a tasting session of the four biggest whisky regions in Scotland: Lowland, Highland, Speyside, and Islay. I personally enjoyed my tasting of whisky from the Highland region, a distillery called Ben Nevis--named after the highest peak in Scotland. I can't say the same for my mum's tasting, she declared that it just tasted like rubbing alcohol. She's never enjoyed alcohol though, so to expect her to enjoy a single-malt was unfair. I'm proud of her near-perfect ability to not screw up her face at each sip of her glass though. Way to go, Mum.

A very small part of the largest whisky collection.

The lads' whisky tasting.

The lads tasting their whisky.

Then on Thursday my parents booked a trip that Jeremy and I would have never done ourselves--as 'locals' that like to think they can't do anything touristy at the risk of exposing our real state of long-term and awe-struck tourists desperately trying to be locals (mostly for want of money to do touristy things). Ahem, anyway, my parents booked a day trip to the Highlands with Haggis, yes Haggis, Tours. We piled into a bright yellow midi-bus at 8AM on Thursday morning that had bright red letters on the side that said 'Wild and Sexy Tours'. Luckily, it was easy to forget what the bus looked like when you were inside of it. Also luckily, it was actually a really great tour. Our guide was really funny and engaging, and really knowledgeable as well--full of stories and history. We drove up through the countryside to Glencoe, the site of the infamous and terrible Glencoe massacre by the Campbells of the MacDonalds. We stopped there briefly, then continued on up to Fort Augustus and the southern end of Loch Ness, and we went on a cruise of the loch and hoped for a glimpse of Nessie, but we had no such luck. But Loch Ness is gorgeous and daunting, at nearly a mile deep and the waters as black as a moonless night. I have no problems imagining a kind of 'monster' able to keep itself hidden and elusive down there. After we left Fort Augustus we came back down the other side of the Highlands, and saw the Glenbogle house for anyone who has seen the show 'Monarch of the Glen'. We went through Perthshire, and had a quick stop in Pitlochry. Back on the bus and around the city of Perth, then finally through the Kingdom of Fife and over the bridge back to Edinburgh. It was amazing to see the differences between the west and east Highlands, but to also recognize the beauty and glory of both--and all in the same day to boot. It was nice to finally get up to the Highlands, if only for a wee taster session, and Jeremy and I are looking forward to finally get up there to spend some real time in the countryside camping, walking and backpacking over hills and through glens.

Glencoe.

How'd you like that house in Glencoe? Yes, please.

Loch Ness.

The east Highlands. Any Western North Carolinians recognize something familiar?

 My dad even connected with his Scottish roots and bought a Harris Tweed flatcap. That, and drank plenty of Scottish single malt and beer. Aye, he's got a little Scotland in him all right.

The handsome Scotsman.

I'm still trying to pin down my elusive dissertation topic, which seems to have taken a dive into murky waters to imitate Nessie--but I'm confident in my ability to track it down and force it to succumb to my will, and unlike Nessie, it will be broken and tamed. Hah.

On a more serious note, Jeremy and I received word last night that our pup, Cael, was taken to the emergency vet yesterday (mostly because it was the weekend, and no other vet was open) due to his unexplained whimpering and crying, and inability to move around very well. Drew tells me that the vet can't find anything specifically wrong yet, and worst-case scenario it could be a slipped-disc. So please, please pray for Cael, and the vet looking at him, and also for  Drew and Kelsey who are having to deal with all of this. Pray for Jeremy and me and well, because as it was hard to be away from the Cael before, it's even harder knowing that he's in pain and scared, and I'm thousands of miles away from him. Cael is on bed-rest of a couple weeks, and on some pain-meds so pray for his speedy (and honestly, pray inexpensive) recovery as he'll be going back to the vet in a week's time to see if he has improved.

Pray for this little guy.

Hopeful,


Caitlin

weekend in photos.

Again, I'm short on time to give you all a proper update with both words and photos, so I figured you'd settle for just photos given the choice. My parents are here, they arrived on my birthday--which was on Saturday-- and it's been lovely to show them around our city and spend time with them. I've got a dissertation meeting today, then more touristy-stuff with the parents, so life continues on and I've only got a little time to stop and fill you in here. I'm going to keep promising until I do it--a proper update coming soon!

Birthday breakfast, flowers, and gift--compliments of mo leannan, Jeremy.

Birthday drinks and eats with my parents and Jeremy at the Black Bull on Grassmarket.

My mum and me!

Sunday at Edinburgh Castle. Stained glass of St. Columba at St. Margaret's Chapel.

My adorable parents outside Edinburgh Castle.

Graveyard in Stirling, just below the castle.

Inside Stirling Castle.

Quintessential bodaich, old men, outside a pub in Stirling.

A tremendous sunset over Edinburgh to finish up the day quite nicely.

Right, until next time! :)


Caitlin

unexpected change of plans.

So I've finally updated my photo of the week for this week, I apologize for not getting up on Sunday--I've given you lovely excuses in the commentary on this week's photo, go check it out.
This past weekend was actually quite nice. I thought it would be a disaster because I had the whole day on Saturday to get work done because Jeremy was working a double and I had plenty of reading to do, and as I discovered the web-based program that lectures at UoE use to put up PDF readings and what not was down for the weekend. Again. So I had all this time to myself, and could not do what needed to be done. So after wasting a little time puttering around the internet I realized that a student is not my sole occupation, that I have a flat that has been embarrassingly neglected in the cleaning quarter for quite some time. So I cleaned. And you know sometimes when you begin to clean, you just keep thinking about more things that you could clean and tidy, and you end up enjoying it? My family used to call it beaver fever when I was young, I'm not sure why--I think it was because beavers seem the kind of animal that would enjoy tedious cleaning what with all that stick-gathering and dam-building they do. But yeah, I just kept going and cleaned pretty much our whole flat--the soundtrack to the cleaning-montage consisting of Johnny Cash and Mumford & Sons. Whenever I get 'the fever' I try to clean as much as I can, because I still remember how I usually feel about cleaning--which aren't typified by amiable feelings.
So with a clean flat, and a happy-but-tired husband at the end of the day I felt quite accomplished, even though I got zero of my reading done for the weekend. (Yes, WebCT was down on Sunday too.) And I was able to invite guests over for Monday night, and didn't have to worry about cleaning all day before they came.
Then Sunday I discovered that through Gmail you can use an internet phone that allows you to call both landlines and mobile phones in the States for absolutely free! So I spoke with my dear one, Chelsea Rose, for over an hour--and it was so good for our souls. Then Jeremy called his parents (a few times, and finally got through) and we spoke with them and his little brother, Jesse, for almost three hours! It was wonderful to be able to talk without worrying about money or time. It was great to hear their voices.
And even though yesterday was definitely not part of the weekend, last night we had Kevin and Ally Aiken over for dinner, and was so wonderful to spend time with friends, just talking and catching up--and of course enjoying some tasty home-brew (shout-out for the ginger beer they brought for me).

Even though this weekend began as a potentially-wasteful change of plans, it ended up being more fruitful than I could have hoped for. And better for our hearts than any amount of academic reading could have been. So here's to an unexpected change of plans.

Cheers,

Caitlin

heritage.

I was asked today if I could choose any citizenship to have in the world, what it would be. My answer was actually quite surprising to me, and will be to anyone reading this who knows me well. I thought about it, and replied,
"If you had asked me this six months ago, I would have undoubtedly said Irish, Scottish, or British. But today, honestly, I'm an American and I'm quite happy to be. I'd take dual-citizenship, sure, but I'll keep my American citizenship, thank you."
To anyone who has heard me pine away for Ireland in the last seven years since I first visited, this might come as a surprise. Don't take this wrong though, I am quite happy to be where I am right now, in Scotland learning about things that most definitely concern my heritage. But this semester my classes comprise of two subjects very interesting to me, Traditional Narrative and Traditional Gaelic Song. Through my lectures and reading so far, especially in Traditional Gaelic Song, we have looked at the idea of song and sense of place. This element is very important in Gaelic song and poetry--which are virtually interchangeable--and is something worth a closer study in understand the nature of the songs. Yesterday in class the lecturer, Dr. Margaret Mackay talked to us about what sense of place means, and she mentioned a Spanish word--pardon my forgetting the actual word--that essentially means a feeling of belonging, of home, a sense of being right where you needed to be. She then asked the class to go round and talk about what that might mean to us individuals.
Being away from family and home in North Carolina has been more difficult than I had foreseen. Coming to Scotland was the fruition of a dream I've had for a long time, and I hadn't even considered the fact that I might miss where I had come from. I knew I would miss family, but since my family is already so far spread across this green earth I didn't think much of flinging my own little family of Jeremy and myself out across the wide sea. But I'm not just a Barker anymore, I'm a Foreman and I had become embedded in that family so much that my abrupt uprooting was more jarring than I anticipated. I miss family birthday gatherings, I miss little children, my nieces and nephews running around, I miss having brothers and sisters around all the time, and I miss the occasional but always memorable encounters of sitting and just listening to Grandmother and Grandfather tell stories.
So when it came to me to speak in class yesterday, to tell about what created my sense of belonging or place I didn't hesitate in saying "family." And not only family, I said, again to my surprise, but the green sheltering mountains of the Blue Ridges in our little mountain valley. There's a sense of safety and comfort about that place, those mountains, and those verdant forests. That's not to say I haven't felt that sense of belonging elsewhere, I have, in Ireland so many years ago and here in Scotland as well. But I've realized that here is not where I really belong. My ancestors belonged here, and so it runs in my blood, but my ancestors picked up and moved in a perilous journey over the sea to make better lives for their families--I am that family, generations later, and I am thankful for their sacrifice, for their own uprooting and departure of that familiar comfort and belonging. I owe it to them to not just cast away the new heritage they created for me in coming back to the old, unimpressed with the new, but to appreciate the heritage of my immediate family and delight in coming here and discovering a new facet of who I am.
That's what I was missing before. I was so ready to go back to my deep roots and become what my ancestors were, that I forgot where my actual home was, where I really belonged.
Not only that, but in studying the culture and folk life I so longed for here, I realized that the tradition and folk culture from whence I came is in part cut from the same cloth as that of this rich place, and that I grew up knowing it and participating in it.
And so, in realizing my dream and coming to the British Isles to study and become part of its tradition I have realized that was already part of a tradition just as rich, and so very similar. If nothing else is accomplished here--though I know it will be--I am happy to finally realize what I have in my cozy, mountain-crowned corner of western North Carolina, and that I dearly miss it, my roots still aching there, with family, friends, familiarity, and belonging. I see the country of my ancestors and love it like they did, but I will not forsake what they gave up for me.
I hope this post makes sense. I am so happy with what Jeremy and I are doing here, it's an adventure that we'll never forget, it's part of who we are, it's in our blood and our connection to it is undeniable--but it's not home. We will come home after a much-needed and well-appreciated jaunt back to the roots of our heritage.
Part of my missing home is probably the fact that I'm living in a city, and not used to it. I like it, but I'm definitely more of an open-country, trees, mountains, wildlife kind of girl. Here are some things I'll be happy to see again.

Early morning mountain fog on Black Mountain's railroad tracks.

The absolute breath-taking beauty of autumn in the mountains.

The verdant green of the Carolina forest, climbing Craggy Pinnacle.

Far off views of mountains at sunset and woodland as far as the eye can see.