why the change?

I realize that this is the third or fourth time I've changed not only my blog's title, but theme and layout as well. You'll all be happy to know (and can point this out to me the next time I get the itch to change again) that I'm going back to my roots and will be sticking to them.
Black currant thoughts came about when I began this blog for as assignment during my undergraduate degree at Montreat College. I wanted a theme, and I drank tea, and--I still do really--drank it religiously, so I decided to write each post, cup of tea in hand, and the kind of tea I was enjoying would be the post title. Black currant was my favorite tea at the time, and I enjoyed the play on currant and current. Oh, how clever I am! Hah. Anyway, I ended up changing it because it got tiring to have to drink a cuppa each time I sat down to write, or I wouldn't have a post title. After a jaunt into themes such as 'to while away the time'--created to express my yearning to be in Europe somewhere doing what I am now doing--and 'i shelter in thy honour'd shade'--a lovely homage auld Rabbie Burns and the brilliant city in which I live, Edinburgh--I have decide that both of those seemed to limit me in what I wrote about and even the length of my posts. Going back to black currant thoughts means that I can have a cuppa if I feel like it, black currant or otherwise--a good Scottish breakfast does me right well in the mornings-- and it means that my web address makes sense again.
Adding in the bit about 'wrought by a compulsive thinker' gives me a feeling of being able to just write thoughts, whether they're here or there, large or small, fleeting and insignificant or deep and profound. And by 'compulsive thinker' I mean that I think entirely too much, about silly things, about things that aren't there and don't have any weight in my life at all, and occasionally I'll think about something worth it, something that makes me enjoy my over-active thinking muscle. I really do mean occasionally, and the term compulsive thinker is meant not an ounce of pretentiousness. Yes, I think a lot, yes, I think too much sometimes, but no, by no means are my compulsive thoughts the thoughts of a brilliantly intelligent brain. If anything, the times when I might have thoughts that could be categorized as brilliant or intelligent (not usually both at once) they are anything but compulsive.
So there you are, my friends, I hope this change will mean that I write more often, not being restrained by the need to post beautiful photos of Edinburgh, or pine away at the thought of being somewhere else.
I'm here, and I am happy.
Cheers.

whispers.

These are verses of a hymn sung yesterday at Greyfriars Tolbooth and Highland Kirk. All the words struck me like a gale of westerly wind on an open plain, but these two verses especially. I thought some of my readers would appreciate them as much as I did.

Lord, you sometimes speak in whispers,
still and small and scarcely heard;
only those who want to listen
catch the all important word.

Lord, you sometimes speak in silence,
Through our loud and noisy day;
we can know and trust you better
when we quietly wait and pray.


For those who wish to look up all the words, it was written by Christopher Martin Idle in 1938, and the title is the first line of the hymn, Lord, you sometimes speak in wonders.

Quietly listening,

Caitlin

a new year.

Well, here we are, it's another new year. Twenty-eleven. Doesn't it seem like just a second ago that it was the year 2000, and here we are now, closer to 2020 than 2000. I don't really think I can get my brain wrapped around that. This year past has brought many changes for Jeremy and I, and if this new year brings even half of the excitement of the last, it shall be quite a year, indeed. I will be graduating with a Master's degree this year, and we shall be deciding if staying in Scotland is in the cards for us. Decisions will be made, another move is almost inevitable, and perhaps just maybe I might be able to start a career--but who knows?
There is a little kitten sleeping in the chair next to me. No, we didn't get another pet. We're watching Jeremy's cousin Tom's cat, called Pete. He's quite cute and fun to play with, but admittedly he just makes me miss Cael. Hopefully, he's another thing this year will bring us. I'll be pursuing options to having Cael shipped over, and I hope all goes smoothly so that we may have him with us again. My brother decided to keep him for us just a little longer, and we are grateful. Though the fact that I haven't seen him in over four months now is rather painful sometimes.
I've resolved this year to put myself out there more, to make friends, and not worry about making a fool out of myself. There are so many things that I have missed out on, and will miss out on, if I continue to worry about what others may think of me. And really, I think I'm giving them and myself too much credit to assume I would be more than a passing thought in some people's minds. I live in Scotland, and I was to see it, to have adventures here, to experience it to the fullest, because I might be going back to the States in less than a year, and I might not come back. I'm young, I'm outgoing (kind of), and I have the world at my fingertips, so why not take advantage?
I will write more this year. Not including my dissertation. I will write more for myself this year.
I will take every opportunity this year to learn all that I can, within and outside the classroom.
I will love well this year, and learn how to serve selflessly, all whom I come into contact with.
I will learn to play the fiddle, and by the end of the year, attempt to play at a session in a pub here in Edinburgh.
I will look back on this year in 2012, and be completely pleased with what I have accomplished.

What are your resolutions for the year? And how do you plan on keeping them?
Oh, and since I promised. Here are some photos of our new(ish) flat on West Crosscauseway.

The lounge and library. There's a door to the right leading to the hallway.

The other half of the lounge/dining room/study

The bedroom. I would love it, if that fireplace worked, but alas, it doesn't.

The kitchen, the door into it is to the left of the table in the previous lounge photo.

Now you have a better picture of how we're living over here. Not pictured is the entry hallway which has doors to the bathroom, our bedroom, and the lounge--but it's not really exciting enough to photograph.

I hope everyone's 2011 brings them the pleasantly unexpected.  

Bliadhna mhath ùr!

Caitlin

christmas cheer.

This Christmas is going to be quite different from any Jeremy and I have had thus far in our married lives, and before marriage no doubt as well. Our flat is not festooned with Christmas decor, there is no tree, and there are no stockings (though we do have a no-fire-allowed hearth, mantle and fireplace). We are in a country that is a thousand miles away from his immediate family, and a little less far from my own, but the distance is still uncrossable. We don't even have Cael with us this year. All of these things you'd think would make for a cheerless Christmas, if you put stock in all of those things to make Christmas eve and morning what they are. And yes, I'd love to be with the Foremans or the Barkers tomorrow and the next day. But this year will shall find our cheer in each other, in the traditions we can still uphold, in seeing Jeremy's aunt, uncle and cousins (we shan't be family-less on Christmas, and for that I am ever grateful), and also in focusing on what this time of year signifies for us. I think it's important to have Christmases like this every once in a while, to remind us that it's not the twinkle lights, stockings hung by the fire with care, stacks of perfectly wrapped presents, tinsel and garland, nor even the breakfast casserole and strawberry butter that is reserved only for Christmas morning (though I am definitely still making that this year). But it is about being with those you love, even if you cannot be with all of them, and about remembering that Christmas is about the life-giving joy that is realized in the birth of Jesus Christ and letting that emanate through your life to all those around you, not just family, nor yet just friends either, but that everyone you come into contact with can see the joy carried in your spirit with the knowledge of this season. I will try to be the bearer of that joy these next days, and hopefully carry it into the new year and beyond as well. Happy Christmas to all those who read this, and I hope yours is filled with the joy and uplifting peace of this season, regardless of your religious tendencies.

I leave you with a photo of our new city, taken yesterday as the sun was making her way to her nightly resting place illuminating the fallen snow and old stones of the city. This view is a gift in itself.

Joy to the world,

Caitlin

someone sure did let it snow.

It's snowing again today, covering up the already half-melted foot of snow already blanketing the city with its serene white shroud. Normally, I don't mind snow as long as I don't have to drive in it. But it's irking me a little bit because if not for it, I'd be finished by now with both my written Gaelic exam and my oral exam as well, and I'd be home free with just an essay to finish by Friday. As it is, the written exam has been canceled and rescheduled for sometime in January, and now my oral exam is postponed to Wednesday. Sigh. I suppose I'll just have to let go and enjoy the frigid beauty it brings to these old stone buildings and cobbled city streets.
Here's the view from our living room window.

Till I'm finished with this essay,

Caitlin

mid-november. really?

Can anyone else really believe that we're half way through November yet? And that Thanksgiving is next week? Does it seem to anyone else that the older you get, the quicker time slips by without you noticing, and the next thing you know you're a year later and you're not sure how you got there? At this time last year I was just settling into the insanity that is the Christmas season at Biltmore--yes, it starts about a week into November. Our plans were still for Jeremy to be the one in school and perhaps maybe we would go to Scotland, but for now we'll just worry about the usual: money, jobs, and what the heck we're doing with our lives. And now, a year later, I am the one in school, and we really are in Scotland, in Edinburgh, and I'm getting a degree in Highland Studies and learning to play the fiddle. Really?
It does feel a bit more tangibly real now that we're in a long-term rental and can finally settle in and make a home. But still, sometime I have to stop, look around at the beautifully old Georgian architecture of the main square of my campus, or out my door, through the buildings to the craggy mount of Arthur's Seat sitting just yonder in Holyrood Park, a stone's throw away from my front door. (Okay, so I'd have to have a really good arm for it to be an actual stone's throw, but still, it's right there.) But it's all true, we really are here, I'm really doing this degree--though don't bother asking what my dissertation is on, because I still have no idea--Jeremy has a good job, and we're living here, in Edinburgh, where we wanted to be. I know I am incredibly blessed to be here, and I am so thankful that things worked out just so for it all to happen. But sometimes--sometimes I still wonder what I really am doing here. Yes, yes I'm going to school and Jeremy and I are on an adventure and what have you. But really, why am I here, what will the future bring us on this path that we're on? Regardless of what you may think, I know I am here for a reason, and that there's a purpose for all that we're encountering and experiencing here, but I can't help letting my so-human mind wander and question and honestly, sometimes just despair at not understanding a distinct purpose for my time and studies here. I know I should just sit back and enjoy it, and take it as it comes, but if any of you know me at all, you'll know that that's not how I do things. I have a hard time not having a framed plan complete with bullet points and a checklist. There's nothing I like more than revising a plan and checking things off a list and experiencing the satisfaction that comes from the accomplishment of a well-laid plan come to fruition. And nothing I hate more than uncertainty and stress from loose ends.
But you know what? Maybe that's why I'm here. Maybe I need to tone the control-freak in my brain down, and maybe kick her out all together. Because the truth is, as long as I am doing what I love and finding my real purpose in the only thing that matters, then what can truly go wrong? Lots of little things might snag here and there, but what are those but flavours that make life that much more brilliantly complex and beautiful?
I am here. I am learning Scottish Gaelic. I am learning to play the fiddle. I am getting a Master's Degree in Highland Studies. I am living in a city that is older and more full of history than anywhere I have ever lived. I will relish all of that in the here and now, and not fret about what will come of it in the future. For if I focus too much on what is to come, I'll miss out on all the loveliness and flavour that will make what comes that much better.

I hope my words can encourage you other control-freaks and future-worriers, and maybe we can all help keep each other accountable to really letting go. Yes?

Here's to the unknown.

Caitlin


Oh, and photos of the new flat coming soon. :)

an old favourite: cider stew.

As Jeremy and I have 'smart' phones now (I put that in quotes because I'm not entirely convinced by the concept, especially now that I have one and it seems downright stupid A LOT), ahem, now that we have these seemingly intelligent cellular devices I have been able to take and easily post photos to my facebook, which means I have been taking many photos of food I have been making. The most recent of these is the Cider Stew I made the other day. (Sam, the Scottish Stew is coming, I just want to make it again so I can take some proper photos, never fear.) This recipe is one that I have loved for many, many years as my mother used to make it for us on crisp autumn days when the weather is just right for a sweater and thick socks and on icy winter nights when the frost on the windows creeps up the panes like it's dying to get in and share in the memories being made. Not to be confused with 'Spider Stew,' which is what a friend of my mum's thought she was being served when she first heard the name. Gross! My mum sent me this recipe a year or so again at my request when the weather began to cool and the leaves began their yearly performance, and it's been a cold weather staple with Jeremy and I since then. I made a few tweaks to her original recipe to make it my own and that is what I am giving you tonight.

Cider Stew
Ingredients:
3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1/4 teaspoon dried thyme
2 pounds pork loin steaks, cubed
3 tablespoons olive oil
2 cups apple cider
1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar
4 carrots, chopped
6-8 baby new potatoes, chopped
2 onions, sliced
1 package mushrooms, quartered
2 Granny Smith apples, chunked (do not peel)
1/2 cup cold water and
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
Salt and pepper

Note: I usually go more by feeling than by exact measurements, just do what feels right, and what your crock pot has room for.


Directions:
Combine flour, salt, pepper, and thyme and toss with meat to coat. Brown in skillet with oil on medium-high until sides are brown, but not cooked through. Place chopped veggies in slow cooker, then add apples and meat (I usually add whatever juices have culminated in the skillet as well). Combine cider and vinegar; do not add water, and pour over meat and veggies. Cover and cook on low setting for 10 to 12 hours. After allotted time, turn cooker on high. Blend the half cup cold water with the fourth cup flour and stir into stew. Cover and cook until thickened, about fifteen to twenty minutes. Season to taste with salt and pepper.
Makes eight to ten servings.

Notes: If you're reading this from the UK, by cider I don't mean alcoholic cider, but really strong, yummy, cloudy apple 'juice'. I used Copella English apple juice this time and the flavour was really nice.

Also, if you're wondering what sort of mushrooms to use I've used two different types, normal button mushrooms which are always nice, and this time I used chestnut mushrooms which have a nuttier flavour which complements the cider.

My mother usually used just normal vinegar in her recipe where I used apple cider vinegar, I don't think it really makes that much of a difference so if you just have regular vinegar that should be fine. I'm just an apple maniac and used anything apple whenever I can.

Now go enjoy your delicious, slow-cooked, autumnal stew and if you make it, come back and let me know how it turned out. We enjoyed ours with a buttered slice of oatmeal bread and a glass of apple cider (yes, the real stuff, you British folk), but white wine would probably be nice as well. Slàinte mhath! 

Caitlin